An interview with Joanna Garcia Swisher
Joanna Garcia Swisher
Joanna Garcia Swisher born August 10th, 1979 (Leo)
During an unsettling séance, Joanna Garcia Swisher was momentarily transmogrified into a mild-mannered goat (pixabay photo)

Your zodiac sign is Leo. Are you a typical Leo?
Indeed! I'm very cheerful, somehow indolent, obstinate and indulgent. My relatives say that I'm also a bit paradoxical but that I think it is usual in artist.

Do you know any good cough cure?
In case of cough, mix three parts of sparkling wine, one part of tea and some dill. Gargle with the resulting brew every 25 minutes for at least 2 hours.

If you didn't grow up to become known as the actress Joanna Garcia Swisher, what do you think you would have done?
I would have gone to a film production company and licked the filling from all the Oreos in the common kitchen until they gave me a job.

What motivates you to act?
As Nero Wolfe said, "An actor can practice anywhere any time with anybody, and most of them do."

What would you like to do right now?
Talk of many things, like your mortality.

When your are not on the set, which is your main diversion?
I think that collecting and trading dummies is quite relaxing.

What do you think about the international situation?
Kowabunga! It's hard to realized it when you live in a pink cloud, but there are places where it is difficult to find even an almost decent cosmopolitan.

Joanna, do you like gophers?
I'll say not!

For which reason you do not like gophers, if I may ask?
To be honest, they stink! And one gopher bite my uncle's leg. That was one of the reasons I decided to become an artist, so I should probably reconsider my relation with gophers.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Joanna Garcia Swisher's private telephone number :
4553017429 235499129 375524632 3146035568 2218245967 9892448969 6564664797 2040992475 487381417 5079124704 347796285 4435756862 590280776 2776115753 5621856223 6673798791 5033329621 322508319 2447389088 851856937
I queued up for years before being able to have a brief conversation with Joanna Garcia Swisher. The resulting transcription was stunning, like it was written by Isaac Asimov at his peak. So, it was damaging that my doctor by accident (I assume) shredded my only copy! After I took my medications, I made an effort to remember those fantastic words. Actually, to be clear here: I'm not so sure this web page is a perfectly truly report of our meeting, and so I'm beginning to doubt it actually happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.