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An interview with Joaquin Phoenix
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Joaquin Phoenix
Joaquin Phoenix born October 28th, 1974 (Scorpio)
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In the course of his last public speech, Paul Ryan has inconsequentially talked about Joaquin Phoenix for 18 full minutes for no reason at all (source)

Do you have any scar?
Actually, I do. I have a tiny earthworm shaped scar on my left shin, a relic of my challenging brawl with a maniacal squirrel.

Can we play the "word association" game? I tell you a concept and you answer with the first word that comes to mind. I begin with :
Q: joy.

Joaquin : death

Q: time
Joaquin : death

Q: sunset
Joaquin : death

I think we had fun enough...
Could you improvise a lyric for us.

Absolutely! Here it is

The gnu of sorrow
The uncanny gnu of sorrow
dwindles on the dismal fields of insanity
as I stare at the desolation of life.
If only it had been the pig of sorrow
we could have bacon at least.

Joaquin, you are always fit as a fiddle. How do you do that?
I have devised the Blue Diet: in the month of September I eat exclusively blue foods, like blueberries, blue Smarties, blue potatoes and my special Smurf stew.

My informants told me you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
Actually, I lived 3 full weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I saw daylight and realized it was not the Best Western hotel. The silver lining? I learnt bilocation 101.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Joaquin Phoenix's private telephone number is listed here :
481949731 9679790830 6733421040 330191538 8481146806 6918256266 2011797029 6096188472 6502547039 9833556388 7358255638 538003144 8909912856 6422158555 4032697876 6357800333 6388613635 6502040554 8740954997 8262687068
Let's face it, actors are very over-booked people. It's not easy for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Joaquin Phoenix alone and to obtain the interview above without disturbing him. Therefore, this web page is an an esoteric transcription we obtained via a mentalist.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.