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A talk with Joe Cocker
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Joe Cocker
Joe Cocker born May 20th, 1944 (Taurus)
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Which is Joe Cocker's method for perpetual beauty? It is a daily bath in cold cement (source)

Do you like to cook?
To be honest, I believe that cooking food is a big waste of energy, since there are fans and fast food joints more than willing to provide my daily RDA of fats and sugars. In the few occasions I indulge in cooking for my relatives, I like to invent salads. My favorite one is a mix of sausages and seaweeds, which I believe can be OK for both vegs and normal people.

Would you like to share the recipe?
By all means! You take the sausages and the seaweeds and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some sesame buns.

Sandwiches?
Do not mind, my recipe comes from one for sandwiches. So you make those sandwiches, then you dispose of the bread and mix sausages and seaweeds with some lemon juice and voilĂ , there it is!

Do you do your own shopping?
I guess not! Actually, I pay a crew of specialists to compile my grocery list and e-mail it to a number of professional buyers around the world. For the clothes, I ever employ a gang of stand-in, one for each body part.

Where do you go when you die?
30 feet under, generally, but if you are incinerated then your remains can occupy space in a little uncanny box in somebody else home.

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
No problem! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away the respect,
you took your love away from me.
A scarf, a pen lost in a drawer
the only sings of you.
You took your love away from me,
all and everything you took away,
so how come your mother is here to stay?

Which is your favorite brand of toilet paper?
I really can't wipe my privy parts with industrial products anymore. My personal toilet paper is obtained from the petals of Psilodenia acuminata, an elusive parasitic orchid which grows only in Uruguay.

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
I don't know, I liked all of their plays.

Joe Cocker refused to let me know his home telephone number, but here are a few random numbers you can dream about :
5269369640 7297861613 3360722306 5806306997 5381341668 218331555 3583757383 336892746 5558827796 689174927 360786860 5415248330 8666075891 7663949493 3093465133 8113182852 4152169260 7140196260 5228097834 4568261580
I dawdled for several years for the privilege to have a hurried rendezvous with Joe Cocker. The resulting transcription was wonderful, like it was written by Isaac Asimov after too much whiskey. Thus, it was deplorable that my doctor destroyed my only copy! After I came out from stupor, I struggled to extract from my fading neurons those mind-blowing words. To be aboveboard here: I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page contains an absolutely truthful account of our appointment, and now I'm beginning to wonder if it ever happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.