What would you like to do right now?
Buy a drawbridge for my dungeon.
Joe, do you have any superpower?
You'll not believe this! I can use two voices at once (one not mine), since I was 3. Probably this is quite remarkable in ginger people with Scottish progenitors.
If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It's a no-brainer: Chris Pratt, since we were in the same book club when we were in fifth grade.
Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, mainly to adenine, rainbows and hedgehog milk (please, don't ask!).
Have you ever participated in a séance?
Yes, just once. It was an excruciating experience. At a certain point, the ghost of Henry VIII of England manifested and confirmed that almost surely I'm the reincarnation of Theodore Roosevelt's cook.
Where do you go when you die?
In a cemetery, generally, but if you are incinerated then your remains can lie in some otherwise useless place.
If you could choose an animal to reincarnate in, which one would it be?
Probably a kangaroo.
When you were a little boy, did you see singing as your career?
Sadly no, and I still dream that, one day, the Wall Street Journal will publish my comic strips.
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