A conversation with Joe Pesci
Joe Pesci
Joe Pesci born February 9th, 1943 (Aquarius)
George B. Collins, the new Joe Pesci's head of security, is always testing different ways to repel stalkers and annoying followers (source)

What is the most uncanny dream you have ever had?
Not really a dream: I was alone in a bare dim place. A nasty aftertaste in my mouth. Then I remembered I got hammered at a screening of "Crazy On The Outside" in a dreary cinema near Milwaukee.

Joe, which is your trick to obtain perfect skin?
It is a daily bath in tomato sauce.

Where do you go when you die?
According to many books, the cadavers do not wander. They usually stay where you lay them.

Do you have any scar?
O.K.! I have a tiny paperclip shaped scar on my right leg, a memento of my troubled quarrel with a crazed panda.

Does your assistant use a pseudonym when he arranges for, say, a limo? You know, to protect your privacy and to excape journalists and stalkers
That's for certain! I'll go to any length to duck those imps. We often employ the alias "Joe Pasci".

If you could choose a someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Surely Harry Potter.

What’s your biggest defect?
I often tempt interviewers. But I'm not that desperate right now so unless you pass out you will remain relatively untouched.

Is there something you would like to do right now?
Quite. Buy a trapdoor for my villa.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Joe Pesci's secret telephone number :
8565015119 706223685 390234300 2544825860 9948033010 4168521106 7990529112 5284012287 596232594 4160374385 4269005804 305557890 515151575 531331588 6896799660 8581262091 2576586618 3751855991 5856894016 6540904370
My brief exchange with Joe Pesci has been lined up many weeks in advance. The resulting transcription was great, like "The Godfather" rewritten by Tarzan. So, it was very unfavorable that my uncle Daniel (maybe on purpose!) set my only copy on fire! After I sobered out, I attempted to recapture those marvelous words. So, to be aboveboard, I'm not so sure this web page is a totally truly report of our conversation, and thus I'm beginning to wonder if it ever happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.