Which is your favorite brand of toilet paper?
I can proudly confess that I have my own exclusive brand. My personal toilet paper is obtained from the fibers of Haplotropha macrocarpa, an almost extinct tree native of Borduria.
If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Surely Keyser Soze.
Not to offend you, but you know that that's not a real person, don't you?
It's not!? How could you say that to me so cold-bloodedly!?
Apart from acting, what one thing do you do better than anybody else?
Well, I can balance a dish on my elbow.
Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, mainly to paparazzi, chipmunks, and formaldehyde.
In an essay appeared on International Journal of Quantitative Soteriology, prof. Donald Scott observed that your movies are "a dramatic summation of newfangled symbolic atomism". Anything to add?
Actually, in his paper published on Asian Philosophical Transactions, dr. Michael Howard totally discredited that forced observation.
What do you have in your pockets?
Holy cow! Since this transcription is a daydream of your naughty mind, I'm totally undressed, so no pockets at all.
If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It should be James Franco. I think we feel the same about Yoda.
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