A conversation with Joe Pesci
Joe Pesci
Joe Pesci born February 9th, 1943 (Aquarius)
In the course of his last scripture, Joe Pesci has developed a pernicious addiction to yak milk (source)

Which is your favorite brand of toilet paper?
I can proudly confess that I have my own exclusive brand. My personal toilet paper is obtained from the fibers of Haplotropha macrocarpa, an almost extinct tree native of Borduria.

If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Surely Keyser Soze.

Not to offend you, but you know that that's not a real person, don't you?
It's not!? How could you say that to me so cold-bloodedly!?

Apart from acting, what one thing do you do better than anybody else?
Well, I can balance a dish on my elbow.

Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, mainly to paparazzi, chipmunks, and formaldehyde.

In an essay appeared on International Journal of Quantitative Soteriology, prof. Donald Scott observed that your movies are "a dramatic summation of newfangled symbolic atomism". Anything to add?
Actually, in his paper published on Asian Philosophical Transactions, dr. Michael Howard totally discredited that forced observation.

What do you have in your pockets?
Holy cow! Since this transcription is a daydream of your naughty mind, I'm totally undressed, so no pockets at all.

If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It should be James Franco. I think we feel the same about Yoda.

There is no possibility any of these is Joe Pesci's private telephone number :
5187788266 8486334376 239029686 760457961 4758119572 2142177249 4043321700 6051706890 218144110 7768882224 5051075479 775535215 5626537754 6382973062 9371576116 8311846465 9821737683 4373044392 5496146933 6864509611
Clearly, actors are busy people. It's not easy for them to fix an interview. So we decided to leave Joe Pesci totally alone and we obtained the interview above without his help. Hence, this web page is an an esoteric transcription we obtained employing a trained telepath.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.