How famous do you think you are, on a scale of one to ten?
I dunno. I think I'm a three in Milwaukee, but a seven in Congo.
Do you have any scar?
That's right! I have a tiny gecko shaped scar on my right elbow, a memory of my tough skirmish with a wild cat.
Which is the coolest flag in the world?
I think it is that of Novistrana. It is orange and purple with a small yellow ferret in the middle. Novistrana is a wonderful but unlucky country. They are so poverty-stricken that theft is legal from 2 to 5 AM.
Can you tell us what is the first prize you ever won?
At the early age of 9, I won the "Titanium Elk Cup" assigned by the municipality of Indianapolis for "notable and nonessential acting performance".
What do you think about the international situation?
I think it is currently quite harsh, since there are nations where it is hopeless to find even a passable corn dog with or without mayo.
Joel, are you superstitious?
Absolutely! I use to hug 2 random people who wear a black shirt before a critical event. Obviously not this one.
What is the most uncanny dream you have ever had?
I dreamed being castigated by a Lao-Tzu impersonator. I kept yelling "I did not eat my uncle's koala".
What is the fuss about the current Oscar quarreling?
Frankly, this is a minefield.
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