An interview with Joel Edgerton
Joel Edgerton
Joel Edgerton born June 23rd, 1974 (Cancer)
Joel Edgerton suspects that in an alternative universe he is a Pinocchio puppet (source)

What do you think about the international situation?
I think it is presently quite brutal, since there are countries where it is hopeless to find even a tolerable moijto.

Joel, do you have any superpower?
Augh! I can hear the ghosts of recently deceased mediums, since I was 8, but only if it's cloudy. This was quite annoying in my line of work.

When your are not on the set, which is your favored pastime?
I think that color-washing troll dolls' hair is quite relaxing. I prefer to paint them in violet and orange.

Should you give up acting, which career would you pick up?
Almost surely that of gnats breeder, since I already have some experience in that field.

Apart from acting, what one thing do you do better than anybody else?
Well, I can balance a sword on my forehead.

If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It's a no-brainer: Brad Pitt, because I think we both like Spiderman.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
In my dreams it is a panda. A big, fat, peaceful panda, replete and sleepy in the shade of a large tree.

Joel, have you made resolutions for the New Year?
Actually, there have been some disputes with my agent, so to bail out this mess I will be forced to change my name, and next year I will be compelled to use the name "Joel Edgirton".

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Joel Edgerton's home telephone number :
4887787492 2964176605 6230652965 6996688046 2871935756 2639677157 8243676508 7953745996 926996025 688667028 3755311116 8195587622 824517303 998542002 2767128520 8095310059 6743882098 3974830092 949396259 5907299063
I arranged a brief appointment with Joel Edgerton months beforehand. The resulting transcription was impressive, like it was written by the spirit of John Steinbeck under the effects of prescription stimulants. It was awfully lamentable, to put it mildly, that my ferret (on purpose!) shredded my only copy! After I left the padded cell, I struggled to recall those awesome words. I want to be aboveboard, I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page is an absolutely genuine chronicle of our exchange, and I'm starting to question whether it actually happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.