A conversation with Joel Kinnaman
Joel Kinnaman
Joel Kinnaman born November 25th, 1979 (Sagittarius)
Roger T. Richardson, the new Joel Kinnaman's head of security, is constantly experimenting different ways to drive away stalkers and vexing pursuers (source)

Joel, have you made plans for the New Year?
One of my most firm new year resolutions is to obtain soon a special license for navigating my submarine.

Nowaday the problem of brucellosis in monkeys is attaining monumental proportions. Are you doing something to alleviate the problem?
I guess! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a fan one night a month. The profits ($1,500/night) will be granted to a charity for the cure of brucellosis in monkeys.

If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It's a no-brainer: Tom Hardy, because I imagine we are on the same page about Hermione Granger.

Joel, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Joel's surprise". In the middle of one of my studies in the Atacama desert, I uncovered a new plant, now named Agladantea agrifolia, that blooms only every 10 years. It then gives fruits whose flavor reminds of mangoes and mud. You have to be filthy rich even to unlike it...

You are always so strapping. Which is your secret?
I have embraced the Blue Diet: during the month of May I eat nothing but blue foods, like blueberries, blue crabs, blue corn and my special Smurf meat pie.

Could you tell us something about your ongoing project?
I'm in the middle of filming the remake of "Twisted", a real masterpiece whose sense has not been recognized.

In a paper published on Journal of Transcendental Soteriology, prof. Carl Green has described your movies as "a perfect archetype of today conceptual emotivism". Any comment?
Yes, it is clear that in his essay appeared on Texan Psychiatrical Studies, dr. Larry Y. Bailey utterly refuted that incoherent thesis.

Which is your favorite snack?
Pears with Worcestershire sauce, a vegetarian burger, three bananas, and a few drops of lemonade.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Joel Kinnaman's private telephone number :
9956067613 2044160991 8380310152 7251196695 6444064964 9475767842 4907787019 6460751259 7631035788 5805362918 2143935498 3335676521 7815179299 384021526 4420794352 341663763 923661943 3636366227 5810305829 3689907262
To be honest, my supervisor had arranged my short exchange with Joel Kinnaman many days beforehand. Regrettably, I realized at the last moment that I had more interesting things to do, like learning Armenian or grooming my pet lion. So, this web page is mainly based on what Joel Kinnaman would have probably answered if I have met him, as suggested by a telephonic poll involving a couple of random people.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.