Joel, have you made plans for the New Year?
One of my most firm new year resolutions is to obtain soon a special license for navigating my submarine.
Nowaday the problem of brucellosis in monkeys is attaining monumental proportions. Are you doing something to alleviate the problem?
I guess! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a fan one night a month. The profits ($1,500/night) will be granted to a charity for the cure of brucellosis in monkeys.
If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It's a no-brainer: Tom Hardy, because I imagine we are on the same page about Hermione Granger.
Joel, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Joel's surprise". In the middle of one of my studies in the Atacama desert, I uncovered a new plant, now named Agladantea agrifolia, that blooms only every 10 years. It then gives fruits whose flavor reminds of mangoes and mud. You have to be filthy rich even to unlike it...
You are always so strapping. Which is your secret?
I have embraced the Blue Diet: during the month of May I eat nothing but blue foods, like blueberries, blue crabs, blue corn and my special Smurf meat pie.
Could you tell us something about your ongoing project?
I'm in the middle of filming the remake of "Twisted", a real masterpiece whose sense has not been recognized.
In a paper published on Journal of Transcendental Soteriology, prof. Carl Green has described your movies as "a perfect archetype of today conceptual emotivism". Any comment?
Yes, it is clear that in his essay appeared on Texan Psychiatrical Studies, dr. Larry Y. Bailey utterly refuted that incoherent thesis.
Which is your favorite snack?
Pears with Worcestershire sauce, a vegetarian burger, three bananas, and a few drops of lemonade.
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