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A talk with Joey Lawrence
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Joey Lawrence
Joey Lawrence born April 20th, 1976 (Aries)
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Curiously, Joey Lawrence's technique for everlasting beauty is an ablution with yak milk once a month (source)

Your zodiac sign is Aries. Are you a typical Aries?
Who do you think i am! I'm a little gloomy, a bit sleepy, headstrong and calm. My relatives say that I'm also a bit inconsistent but that I think it is usual in artist.

I heard you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be honest, I spent 2 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I saw daylight and realized it was not the Best Western hotel. In the meantime, I learnt to bend fire, just a little.

Joey, can you share with us a memory of your role in "Hit List"?
Might as well! All the other actors were eating salami flavored chewinggums all the time.

You appear to be always so joyful and chirpy. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. Each and every one has two sides. At times, when I meet a so-called artist, my sight blurs and I grit my teeth. And all of a sudden, I sense a compulsion to eradicate that dunce from this planet and dance on his bleak grave. That is my sunny side... I let you discover, if you want, how my dark side is.

Do you remember which is the first award you ever won?
At the age of 10, I won the "Titanium Horse Award" assigned by the Mayor of Indianapolis for "noteworthy yet superfluous stage performance".

Joey, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Joey's sensation". During one of my peregrinations in the Amazon basin, I discovered an unknown shrub, now named Codocorax perplexa, which every 9 years blooms and produces fruits whose flavor reminds of kiwis and turpentine. It may sound disagreeable, but it may become a compulsive habit.

Have you ever participated in a séance?
O.K.! But just one time. It was a very uncanny experience. At a certain point, the ghost of Genghis Khan manifested and revealed that almost surely I'm the reincarnation of a neighbor of Francis Bacon.

In your opinion, which is the most beautiful flag?
Surely the flag of Wakanda, probably because it has my picture in a corner.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Joey Lawrence's home telephone number :
6828248646 8967014694 8426823902 603116720 643297423 4352238467 7325425741 2943159111 8644823632 6656267183 946482051 3103240202 2776149051 4836039971 7108492143 696908287 5838472720 397049934 6737664054 2670675608
I patiently queued up forever for a chance to have a little meeting with Joey Lawrence. The resulting piece was mind-boggling, like it was written by Doris Lessing under the influence of too much champagne. So, it was awfully unfortunate, to put it mildly, that my neighbor by accident (I assume) set my only copy on fire! After I put the blame on karma, I attempted to summon up those great words. Actually, to be frank, I'm not so confident this web page contains a perfectly factual run-down of what transpired during our conversation, and so I'm beginning to doubt it actually happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.