A talk with John Cusack
John Cusack
John Cusack born June 28th, 1966 (Cancer)
John Cusack is presently writing a guide to choosing dental floss, a long due work soon to be released in daily instalments. (pixabay photo)

If I may ask, do you have any peculiar fear?
Aye! I have developed an unreasonable fear for venetian blinds, owing to a freak accident happened to my aunt. I'm also terrified by séances, but that is quite common.

As everybody knows, the problem of osteoporosis in hedgehogs is reaching epic dimensions. Is John Cusack doing anything in this respect?
Aye! I will platonically sleep in a bunk bed with a devotee one night a month. The profits ($1,200 per night) will be donated to an organization for the cure of osteoporosis in hedgehogs.

John, your zodiac sign is Cancer. May I read you your horoscope?
OK, but I don't believe in zodiacal craziness.

You will feel isolated from your fans, like an impalpable barrier is between you and them. A frightening feeling will tell you that they are actually dreaming to murder you.
The hell with it! You are dead on!

Your work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To strengthen my soul, I often take a siesta on a hammock made of nails.

Do you have any scar?
Yes, I do. I have a tiny wombat shaped scar on my right heel, the result of my challenging quarrel with a crazed coyote.

Do you have a favorite book?
I'm addicted to "The Picture of Dorian Gray" by Orson Wide.

You surely mean, by Oscar Wilde?
I'm not used to be rebuked by irrelevant people, and in any case probably I've heard it both ways.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being John Cusack's home telephone number :
997418914 9142121921 7759525313 537148106 949052599 3935853363 3307783913 6384829606 9495956242 3836288775 6589417072 3909020363 5112449278 753826076 365648517 9636495600 7953992102 4910235830 9327448323 3479145296
I lined up a hurried appointment with John Cusack many days in advance. The resulting piece was stunning, like it was written by the spirit of J.D. Salinger under the effects of unhealthy beverages. It was awfully deplorable that my cousin Donald by accident ate my only copy! After I dissimulated devastating emotions, I tried to remember those excellent words. To be frank here: I'm not really sure this web page is an absolutely precise report of what transpired during our meeting, and so I'm starting to be uncertain it ever took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.