A talk with John Cusack
John Cusack
John Cusack born June 28th, 1966 (Cancer)
Which is John Cusack's technique for spotless skin? As you may have suspected, it is a dousing with hot tomato soup once a week (pixabay photo)

What do you have in your pockets?
This is a tricky one. As this interview is a dream of your mischievous neurons, I'm totally stark-naked, so no pockets at all.

Who are your heroes?
Nicolaus Copernicus, HAL 9000, and myself.

Could you tell us something about the plot of your next movie?
Absolutely! The tentative title of the film is "Martha, Harold and the hare". There are a woman and a man, which live in Dallas, but they never met. The man is a killer and she is a snowsport instructor. When Martha's pet hare Tepino contracts common cold they meet at the vet and fall in love. Then they begin a spiritual journey to search for Alevardia spinosa (a rare tree which grows in Syria only), whose flowers can cure the hare.

I heard that you will soon be busy with a charity football match. Care to tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a titanic effort?
I had to for a little clause in my last contract, which prescribed me to fake an interest in good deeds.

And since when did you feel an urge to fight tonsillitis?
Oh, since always.

Apart from acting, what one thing do you do better than anybody else?
Actually, I can deliver "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night" by Dylan Thomas in 6 different languages including Klingonese.

If you didn't grow up to become known as the actor John Cusack, what do you think you would have done?
I would have gone to a film production company and rang their doorbell until they gave me a job.

How is your relationship with movie directors?
I prefer that directors make absolutely clear what they want me to do, so I can do something else.

There is no possibility any of these is John Cusack's private telephone number :
889656591 3570635589 8901218715 3999595973 4801416632 900737687 9243513365 4214384460 7788592455 289043789 697099235 2521986323 953687885 9198562317 6317436194 7173791842 7079887023 4789806025 3710244583 5238624051
I queued up for several weeks before being able to have a little rendezvous with John Cusack. The resulting piece was breathtaking, like "A Tale of Two Cities" rewritten by Captain America. Thus, it was highly untoward, to put it mildly, that my koala shredded my only copy! After I recounted my vitals, I tried to extract from my crumbling memory those mind-boggling words. I want to be straight, I'm not really so certain this web page is a totally truthful run-down of what transpired during our appointment, and now I'm starting to ask myself if it ever took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.