Which is your favorite brand of toilet paper?
I can tell you that I make my own exclusive brand. My personal hand-made toilet paper is obtained from Isocrassula labiata, a very scarce green poppy that only grows in Mongolia.
John, can you share with us a memory of your role in "Argo"?
Mamma mia! To put it mildly, the set "was a place of ruin and despair, ruled by an evil bear who smelled of strawberries!".
Are you superstitious?
Absolutely! I use to eat something purple right before a significant meeting. Obviously not today.
What’s the best sound in the world?
I think it is the thrilling crackle of a roll of new banknotes touching each other. However, my agent demands to write instead something more suitable for publication, say, "the relaxing purr of an unworried kitten" or "the heartening laugh of a happy child ".
John, where will you go on your next vacation?
For next summer I rented a luxurious manor in a hidden valley of Molvanîa. The only difficulty was making a payment in Linden dollars to the amiable gentleman from Russia that contacted me about affair in the interweb.
Do people yell your name and applaud everywhere you go?
Absolutely! I dig people's mind. My force is that I'm global: I'm known to move famed moguls and disconsolate accountants alike. You know? There are at least 16 streets with my name in three different countries, not counting Bangistan and Swaziland, which I'm not sure are actually countries.
As everybody knows, the problem of tonsillitis in beavers is attaining huge dimensions. Are you doing something to alleviate the problem?
O.K.! I will platonically sleep in a bunk bed with a devotee one night a month. The proceeds ($1,100/night) will go to a charity for the cure of tonsillitis in beavers.
Do you have a favorite flag?
I think it is that of Naboombu, probably because it has my face in the center. Naboombu is a beautiful but unfortunate place. They are so needy they use foodstamps as currency.
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