John, do you have something to say to young people?
You bet your boots! Don't let the color of your skin determine what you like and how you should act. Sun block and sunscreen are sold for a reason.
In a letter printed on European Annals of Rural Conceptualism, prof. Douglas T. Rogers has observed that your songs are "a dramatic epitome of modernistic contextual hedonism". Which is your reaction?
I think that in his paper published on American Annals of Chemical Methodology, dr. Reginald Johnson totally disproved that preposterous thesis.
Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Ah, several years ago I went camping with a friend. You know, one thing led to another and so we did "that" in the woods, under the stars, in the heart of nature.
What are you working about?
I'm collaborating to the music score for a sequel of "Body of Evidence", a timeless classic whose magnitude has not been fully acknowledged by viewers.
John, if I may ask, how do you invest the money you made?
I invested all my money in a super-clever scheme invented by a financial guru named Charlie Penzi, an expert of international hedge funds (whatever it means). I'll write down his phone, but I wasn't able to reach him in the last few weeks.
Do you do your own shopping?
I'm so busy doing very important things for the good of all of us (except the ones who are dead) that I can't waste time on such trivialities. Actually, I retain a squad of economists to compile my grocery list and texting it to a gang of professional buyers around the world. For the garbs, I ever employ a squad of stand-in, one for each body part.
Does your secretary use an alias when he makes reservation for a hotel suite? You know, to protect your privacy and to duck fans and paparazzi
For certain! We do anything to get rid of those gremlins. I often adopt the pseudonym "John Hoatt".
What's your favorite vice?
I do too much for people that don't merit any of it. Well, I expect that you are going to chastise me for that. Luckily another vice of mine is I don't give a shit.
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