An interview with Johnny Depp
Johnny Depp
Johnny Depp born June 9th, 1963 (Gemini)
In his mysterious cave Johnny Depp is incessantly looking for a way to generate ducks with 4 legs (pixabay photo)

What’s the best sound in the world?
Almost surely it is the stimulating rustle of a roll of new banknotes kissing each other. But please, write instead something more crowd-pleasing, for example "the joyful laugh of a happy kid " or "the consoling purr of a little kitten".

Your zodiac sign is Gemini. Are you a typical Gemini?
Who do you think i am! I'm very agreeable, dynamic, dogged and feverish. My friends say that I'm also a little inconsistent but that I think it is common in artist.

Do people scream your name and follow you everywhere you go?
Why not! I dig people's mind. I really make no distinction as to gender or occupation: I'm known to delight famed heirs and depressed rodent exterminators in the same fashion. It's nice to hear that there are at least 16 avenues with my name in four different countries, not counting Vanuatu and Pokolistan.

Johnny, which is your trick to achieve perpetual beauty?
It is an ablution with lukewarm tomato soup once a month.

You hit the mark in "Edward Scissorhands". Were you given a lot of freedom to create your character?
Oh, yes! Oh, I nailed it! My pet opossum ate the script, thus I had to write most of my dialogues.

A famous person you recognize as your doppelganger?
As a poll suggests, Socrates, because of our cool hair style.

What do you think about the international situation?
Augh! It's hard to believe it when you spend your days in dreams made of rainbows pampered by willing servants, but on our torn planet there are nations where it is hopeless to find even an almost adequate martini.

Do you know Diane Ortiz (a former actor, now a hydrogeologist) from Round Rock?
Not personally, but my cousin has been briefly married to her. Then there was a public embarrassment about Diane cheating on him with every jock from Round Rock suburbia, so their marriage came to a quick finale.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Johnny Depp's home telephone number :
731446449 883622039 429407956 334345696 2132766203 4667048124 372399971 4012294239 7795776986 4763134052 2900695964 4147796388 6923963785 450202692 9334182472 709405947 9711706456 3745769140 730106220 5210168576
My exchange with Johnny Depp has been patiently scheduled several days in advance. The resulting article was stunning, like it was written by the spirit of Jules Verne under the effects of unhealthy beverages. Hence, it was awfully unfavorable, to put it mildly, that my cat set my only copy on fire! After I put myself together, I made an attempt to recollect those magnificent words. To be aboveboard, I'm not one hundred percent confident this web page is a totally precise run-down of what transpired during our meeting, and thus I'm starting to ask myself if it actually took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.