A conversation with Jonah Hill
Jonah Hill
Jonah Hill born December 20th, 1983 (Sagittarius)
During an unsettling ritual, Jonah Hill was momentarily mutated into a non-demoniac goat (pixabay photo)

We are here today with a special guest, Jonah Hill, who just made his way through his last movie. Hi, Jonah, and welcome to Celebrity Wondercouch.
I say it was about time you folks invited me. I saw Jessica Simpson the other day and, let me tell you, I did not like it a bit.

Which is the most blush-making DVD (or blu-ray) in hour home?
Sheesh! Apart from "Twilight", probabably it is "Jack Frost" or "Cool as Ice".

If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
It's a no-brainer! Tarzan.

I don't want to offend you, but you know that that's not a real person, right?
It's not!? How could you say that to me so cold-bloodedly!?

Is there something you would like to do right now?
Quite. Read the obit of my worst enemy.

Don't you think it is time you write an autobiography?
Yes! It is regrettable that I have so little time, if any, to write. Recently I've read the abridged recap of the book "Harry Potter", and I found it passable. Thus, I've ordered my agent to contact the author - a certain J.K. Rowling - because I truly need a ghost writer, but for the moment I've not received any news.

What do you think about the current USA president?
I'm somehow concerned, since I heard that Trump wants to sponsor an investigation that proves evolution is a figment of communists.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Surely an elk. A big, fat, quiet elk, replete and sleepy in a summer breeze.

Jonah Hill refused to divulge his home telephone number, but here are a few random numbers you can dream about :
7988462520 877267272 9588625212 4660027047 4995923151 6558272562 5583356651 727808077 4294679853 8396203646 267282421 230528040 3347077617 9516909399 7191885507 4251192604 7709673687 5764475621 3079051734 5607270108
To be frank, my supervisor had patiently planned my brief rendezvous with Jonah Hill many days beforehand. Regrettably, my pet panda got hypermetropia, so I had to skip the interview. So, the interview above is essentially based on what Jonah Hill would have probably answered if I have met him, as indicated by a telephonic poll involving a couple of his fans.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Channing Tatum Jenna Dewan Tatum Jane Seymour Kesha Bonnie Raitt Joanna Garcia Swisher Zachary Quinto Will Ferrell Christina Hendricks Emily Mortimer Minka Kelly Marion Cotillard PJ Harvey Robert De Niro Colin Hanks Téa Leoni Billy Bob Thornton Jamie Dornan Melanie Griffith
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.