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A conversation with Jonah Hill
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Jonah Hill
Jonah Hill born December 20th, 1983 (Sagittarius)
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Right in the middle of her last speech, Hillary Clinton has foolishly rambled about Jonah Hill for 14 full minutes for no discernible reason (source)

We are here today with Jonah Hill, who just survived the mammoth task of his last movie. Hi, Jonah, and welcome to Tales Of The Well-Known.
Good morning to you, and thank you for inviting me.

How famous are you, on a scale of one to ten?
I dunno. Probably, I'm a four in Amazonas, but a seven in Milwaukee.

Jonah, do you have something to say to young people?
Yes! Modern research has showed that smoking every kind of vegetable you can put your hands on may have sour repercussions, like loss of nails or death. But now you can stop being anxious! Buy "Jonah's cure", now with more Iridondrinaria vomitoria powder. Just $29.99 for 70 tablets. (Note : Not actually a cure. It usually may cause loss of appetite or induce suicide. Sodium-free. It may contain traces of tears and coal).

Nowaday the problem of bronchitis in dogs is reaching monumental dimensions. Are you doing something to solve the problem?
Oh yeah! I will platonically sleep in a bunk bed with a fan one night a month. The proceeds ($800/night) will be donated to an organization for the cure of bronchitis in dogs.

In a paper published on Texan Chemical Transactions, dr. Ronald Butler has observed that your movies are "a dramatic paradigm of present-day symbolic inductionism". Any comment?
Actually, I think that in his recent article appeared on Asian Anthropological Quarterly, prof. Steven Jenkins totally invalidated that eccentric observation.

You have been the recipient of several prizes. Do you remember which is the first award you ever won?
At the early age of 7, I won the "Titanium Hare Cup" issued by the city of Dallas for "exceptional and unneeded acting performance".

Do you know Cheryl Kelly (a former shoemaker, now an importer) from Antioch?
Not personally, but my cousin has been briefly betrothed to her. Then there was half a scandal about Cheryl cheating on him with every jock from Antioch suburbia, so their engagement came to a hasty end.

Which super power do you have?
I can walk on warm broth, expecially if the sun shines.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Jonah Hill's secret telephone number :
2645426055 9027463243 2305512111 8022805921 2964314607 9136322934 461777630 7460525900 5773896955 7926374756 8665439887 2960100344 556350959 351186296 288730368 7838509211 4776985909 946382499 9981240637 290903948
I patiently queued up forever for the privilege to have a meeting with Jonah Hill. The resulting piece was amazing, like it was written by Doris Lessing under the effects of unhealthy beverages. It was very regrettable, to put it mildly, that my dog by accident (I hope!) destroyed my only copy! After I restored my sobriety, I struggled to remember those amazing words. Actually, to be straight here: I'm not really so sure this web page is an entirely accurate report of what transpired during our talk, and thus I'm beginning to be uncertain it actually was real...
Other interviews worth checking:
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.