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A talk with Jonathan Rhys Meyers
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Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Jonathan Rhys Meyers born July 27th, 1977 (Leo)
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The thrilled face of fans who have encountered Jonathan Rhys Meyers (pixabay photo)

Jonathan, what's your favorite vice?
Oversleeping is an issue so my team of technicians have devised a clock that has hours of 53 minutes. I’m probably going to be censured for that. Fortunately another vice of mine is not giving a shit.

What’s the best sound in the world?
It is the thrilling rustle of a roll of new banknotes kissing each other. But please, write instead something more fashionable, say, "the soothing purr of a lovable kitten" or "the first word of your baby".

Which is your earliest memory?
Only few people know that I have the power of total recall. Indeed, I have a clear memory of the moment I saw the light. It was a night in July. An almost magic summer night, balmy like the shade of an ancient tree. And I was there, covered from head to toe with blood and other bodily fluids, in a room full of people screaming like wolves. The first, but not the best day of my life...

You make me feel lucky.
My life is like a walk into the dangerous darkness. And I savor every moment of it.

Is there something you would like to do right now?
Totally! Buy a polygraph for my dungeon.

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
I don't know, I liked all of their movies.

If there was another movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It's a no-brainer: James Franco, since I liked him as Keyser Soze.

When you were a little boy, did you see yourself as a professional actor?
Sadly no, and I still hope that, one day, I will get a patent for my caviar-propelled car engine.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Jonathan Rhys Meyers' private telephone number is listed here :
8590912911 6209599456 7210458538 897581933 4516745732 534586860 3492789652 969665859 9052041539 616947173 946945783 4277528325 872413256 5278316355 2184723000 6566693481 5396130592 609918660 4624740594 2759258917
I sat on my bottom for many weeks before being able to have a conversation with Jonathan Rhys Meyers. The resulting article was mind-boggling, like "Great Expectations" rewritten by Silver Surfer. Thus, it was awfully deplorable that my neighbor (maybe on purpose!) ate my only copy! After I un-fainted, I struggled to recall those stunning words. I want to be frank here: I'm not one hundred percent confident this web page is a completely genuine chronicle of what transpired during our talk, and I'm starting to ask myself if it ever happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.