A talk with Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Jonathan Rhys Meyers born July 27th, 1977 (Leo)
Less known fact: before becoming famous Jonathan Rhys Meyers has lived for 6 years in a Klingon commune in Phoenix (source)

Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
Honestly, common brands are for common people. My personal toilet paper is obtained from Gynostovilla bulbifera, a rare black poppy that only grows in Nepal.

Jonathan, what is your opinion about the controversial problem of global warming?
I've already explained my opinion in an article printed on Annals of Quantitative Conceptualism, written in collaboration with the renowned prof. Harold O. Gonzalez.

What do you have in your pockets?
Because this talk is a dream of your indecent imagination, I'm probably completely stark-naked, so no pockets at all.

What is the strangest nightmare you’ve ever had?
Not really a dream: I found myself alone in a desolate gloomy space. A nasty reek in the air. Then I remembered I got plastered at a rerun of "Batman & Robin" in a drab cinema near Atlanta.

Do people yell your name and applaud everywhere you go?
Might as well! They simply can't have enough of me. I really make no distinction: I delight prosperous MIT professors and uninspiring bookkeepers in the same way. Say, there are at least 16 plazas with my name in four different countries, not counting Naboombu and Botswana.

Could you suggest a remedy for hangovers?
Yes, here it is my instant remedy. In case of need mix two parts of rum, one part of fruit drink and some applesauce. Apply the resulting concoction on your feet and your arms.

What’s the best sound in the world?
Almost surely it is the comforting jingle of two pieces of gold touching each other. However, my agent requires you write instead something more mainstream, like "the cheery giggle of an angelic child " or "the calming purr of an unworried kitten".

Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Every day! I mostly buy super-natural indie products, because I do pay attention to my health and my supporters. For example, this week I have a fascination for shiitake mushrooms and fermented cabbage, both very tasty on BBQ brisket.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Jonathan Rhys Meyers' secret telephone number is listed here :
4420175150 6986494281 533939207 8085259433 779447411 463470550 507030490 5095748770 6881734989 7049941257 8124881071 778583214 8880282022 7412089502 3236470985 2311584782 5897908122 2117323644 8314485105 2388056622
My director had patiently lined up my hurried meeting with Jonathan Rhys Meyers several days beforehand. Unfortunately, I decided I had more interesting things to do, like collecting molds or breeding earthworms. So, the interview above is essentially based on what Jonathan Rhys Meyers would have probably said if I have met him, as suggested by a statistics involving a couple of random people.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.