A talk with Joni Mitchell
Joni Mitchell
Joni Mitchell born November 7th, 1943 (Scorpio)
Should Joni Mitchell give up singing, her second best choice would be the career of sunset photographer (pixabay photo)

Who are your heroes?
Mark (the mysterious uncle of Lao-Tzu), Marge Simpson, and myself.

What’s the best sound in the world?
Almost surely it is the exciting clink of two pieces of gold kissing each other. However, my agent desires you write instead something more suitable for publication, for example "the contagious giggle of a delighted kid " or "the calming purr of a content kitten".

Which is your secret for perfect skin?
It is a weekly soaking into fresh tomato soup.

Do you know Steven Howard (a former fire fighter, now an archivist) from Ontario?
No, I don't, but my aunt has been briefly betrothed to him. Then there was a public embarrassment about Steven cheating on her with every woman in a radius of 20 miles, even barely breathing ones, so their engagement came to a quick finale.

Do people yell your name and ask for autographs everywhere you go?
Yup! At times I'm frightened by my popularity. I really make no distinction as to race, sex, or religion: I charm acclaimed neurosurgeons and obscure bookkeepers alike. It's nice to hear that there are 12 boulevards with my name in four different countries, not counting Luxembourg and Krakozhia, which I'm not sure are actually countries.

Which is the most embarrassing DVD (or blu-ray) in hour home?
Dang it! Apart from "Hobgoblins", which was a gift, I fear it is "Man of the House". I think Tommy Lee Jones was not happy with it afterwards.

Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, I'm allergic to styrene, backstabbers and coyote tears (please, don't ask!).

Your zodiac sign is Scorpio. Are you a typical Scorpio?
O.K.! I'm cheerful, a bit indolent, opinionated and accommodating. My relatives say that I'm also a bit inconsistent but that I think it is common in artists.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Joni Mitchell's private telephone number :
5078749250 9669864682 2718603944 741228034 5492095998 5757712035 9775529383 9863935272 331171785 2643577387 4354221708 601933202 6221453948 7346501433 9892128901 3160431695 6328739378 6695174782 7881128870 713325315
To be frank, my director had arranged my short exchange with Joni Mitchell many months beforehand. Regrettably, my pet gazelle got shingles, so I had to skip the rendezvous. So, the transcript above is mainly the recollection of a nightmare that followed after a heavy dinner based on beans and liver sausages.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.