An interview with Josh Hutcherson
Josh Hutcherson
Josh Hutcherson born October 12th, 1992 (Libra)
The joyful aspect of fans who have encountered Josh Hutcherson (pixabay photo)

Josh, your zodiac sign is Libra. May I read you your horoscope?
Please proceed, but I'm a bit partial regarding zodiacal madness.

You will feel ignored by other people, like an evanescent screen is between you and them. A disquieting feeling will tell you that maybe they are planning to kill you.
Crickety! If I did believe in this zodiacal shenanigans, now I would be somehow blue.

You are always in tip-top condition. How do you do that?
I have invented the Blue Diet: during the month of July I eat only blue foods, like blueberries, robin's eggs, blue corn and my special Smurf meatloaf.

Josh, have you made plans for the New Year?
My plan is to obtain soon a license for steering my hovercraft.

Can you share with us a memory of your role in "The Hunger Games: Catching Fire"?
Aye! They do not assemble a cast like that anymore! There are a lot of good causes for that...

Your line of work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To fortify my spirit, I periodically rest on a cot made of thorns abundantly sprinkled with salt.

Which is the first award you ever won?
At the early age of 9, I won the "Bronze Ocelot Trophy" issued by the city of Los Angeles for "phenomenal yet nonessential acting performance".

Could you tell us something about the plot of your next movie?
Yes! The title of the movie is "Dorothy, Henry and the raccoon". There are a man and a woman, which live in Austin, but they never met. Henry is a medium while Dorothy is a signwriter. When Henry's pet raccoon Dambadoo contracts argyria they meet at the vet and fall in love. Then they realize that only Harry Potter can save Dambadoo, so they begin a dangerous journey in Switzerland, where Harry Potter is hiding.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Josh Hutcherson's private telephone number :
4097421567 8245342697 353452980 877294181 2330075730 2012801493 6783223050 6001040727 6153696006 7285952319 5548370366 6347117303 5367868837 6410462419 3145538821 990321987 3098786778 9931109006 214622105 2876092921
To be frank, my director had patiently lined up my short exchange with Josh Hutcherson many weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, I got stoned watching a rerun of "The Adventures of Pluto Nash". So, the transcript above is essentially the impression of a nightmare I had following a generous dinner of beans and wild boar stew.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.