What’s the best sound in the world?
Almost surely it is the exciting rustle of a roll of new banknotes kissing each other. But please, write instead something more likeable, for example "the merry giggle of a happy kid " or "the consoling purr of an unworried kitten".
Apart from acting, what one thing do you do better than anybody else?
You know, I can declaim "If I Can Stop One Heart From Breaking" by Emily Dickinson backwards in 6 different languages including Swahili.
Who were you in your first school play?
It was rather humiliating. It was a play on the life of George Bernard Shaw. I played the midwife, so my part lasted about 10 seconds.
If you didn't grow up to become known as the actor Judd Nelson, what do you think you would have done?
I would have enrolled at Yale University, signed up for Applied Positivism 101, failed, and bailed out after a year with an online poker addiction.
Do you know Kevin A. Garcia (a former chief executive, now an occupational therapist) from Anaheim?
No, I don't, but my aunt has been briefly married to him. Then there was some commotion about Kevin fooling around with every stripper from Anaheim suburbia, even barely breathing ones, so their marriage came to a sudden end.
Which is the most blush-making DVD you personally bought?
Kowabunga! Apart from "From Justin to Kelly", which was a gift, I fear it is "Mickey Blue Eyes" or "The Adventures Of Rocky & Bullwinkle".
What is your opinion about president Donald Trump?
I though this was a funny meeting, not a glimpse to the dark side of the moon.
In an essay appeared on American Journal of Theoretical Epistemology, prof. Carl Miller observed that your movies are "a perfect paradigm of modernistic symbolic panpsychism". Anything to add?
Well, I think that in his recent letter published on Journal of Psychological Issues, dr. Michael Harris completely disproved that incoherent assumption.
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