A talk with Julia Roberts
Julia Roberts
Julia Roberts born October 28th, 1967 (Scorpio)
In the course of her last scripture, Julia Roberts has got a pernicious addiction to durian fruits (source)

Do people yell your name and ask for autographs everywhere you go?
Touche'! They can't have enough of me. My force is that I'm universal: I enchant prosperous tycoons and commonplace bookkeepers to the same extent. It's nice to know that there are at least 14 avenues with my name in three different countries, not counting Zamunda and Andorra, which I'm not sure are actually countries.

I've heard you are about to publish a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The actual details on my imminent book will soon be published in another book. What I can say here is that it will be a guide to choosing rubber bands, a long awaited work soon to be released in daily instalments.

If you’re at karaoke, what’s your song of choice?
To get the crowd pleased I always make an encore of "How Do I Live" by LeAnn Rimes.

Nowaday the problem of argyria in bears is reaching huge proportions. Are you doing something to mitigate the problem?
I guess! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a fan one night a month. The proceeds ($800/night) will be granted to a foundation for the cure of argyria in bears.

You were dead on in "Notting Hill". Were you given plenty of room to mold your character?
Absolutely! There was a writers' strike, so I had to write most of my lines.

What’s the best sound in the world?
Surely it is the soothing tingle of two emeralds kissing each other. However, my agent desires you write instead something more fashionable, like "the cheery giggle of an innocent child " or "the relaxing purr of a lovable kitten".

Who are your heroes?
Henry Ford, Bridget Jones, and myself.

Your agent told me you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be honest, I spent 3 full weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I saw daylight and realized it was not the Best Western hotel. On the bright side, I learnt to project my aura, about 6 inches far.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Julia Roberts' private telephone number :
3680115799 340708570 370483410 390487426 543320445 6852749472 9581558794 3202437214 4054609564 471467482 7027817987 4364083494 471373781 648524949 569638460 288811107 9882003532 9580530592 673334284 7242093886
To be sincere, my boss had patiently lined up my little appointment with Julia Roberts days beforehand. Unluckily, I realized I had more interesting things to do, like collecting toothbrushes or learning Chinese. So, the interview above is essentially the elaboration of a nightmare I had after a copious dinner of raw onions and deep-fried eggplants.
Other interviews worth checking:
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.