A conversation with Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber born March 1st, 1994 (Pisces)
In his mansion in California, next to the Matthew McConaughey's one, Justin Bieber is producing his own wine, whose name, by an unfortunate coincidence, sounds like a shocking blasphemy in Russian (pixabay photo)

I'm here today with a special guest, Justin Bieber, who just survived the mammoth task of his last album. Hi, Justin, and welcome to Mythical Celebrities.
I say it was about time you people invited me. I saw Christian Bale the other day and, let me tell you, I did not like it a bit.

Justin, what do you think of global warming?
I have deducted that this so-called global warming drivel is just a feebleminded conspiracy of Naboombu's operatives.

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Absolutely! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away the lust,
you took the respect away from me.
A scarf, a button forgotten in a drawer
my only memories of you.
You took away all that I had,
everything you took away,
so how come your mother is here to stay?

Which is the most embarrassing DVD in hour home?
Nuts! Excluding "Swept Away", which was a gift, I fear it is "B*A*P*S". That was really a hiccup in the career of Martin Landau!

Justin, how do you invest the money you make?
I invested my fortune in a money-making scheme invented by a financial genius named Charlie Penzi, a pro of hedge futures trading. I can give you his phone, but he has been incommunicado in the last weeks.

Don't you think it is time you write an autobiography?
Indeed! It is unfortunate that I have so little time to write. Recently I've read the recap of the abridged version of "1984", and I found it more or less passable. Thus, I've asked my agent to pay a visit to the author - a certain George Orwell - since I truly need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not received any answer.

Did you ever participated in a séance?
Jawohl! But just one time. It was an extremely tormented experience. At a certain point, the ghost of John Maynard Keynes manifested and conjectured that I'm probably the reincarnation of a Richard Wagner's homonym.

Can you authenticate the buzz about your involvement in the shady business of Yeti pictures?
Can I? All right! Do I want? Indeed not!

Justin Bieber refused to share his home telephone number, but here are some random numbers you can dream about :
415105983 941403996 9193782867 2126270524 804403826 5132570196 4402260720 7317408112 761956543 6187801653 7020337177 5150555009 2724933834 7675426534 5346534812 3745163550 8776068873 2171446230 7603335006 2363827310
Let's face it, vips are very busy people. It's not easy for them to fix a meet for an interview. So we decided to leave Justin Bieber peacefully alone and obtain the interview above without disturbing him. Hence, this web page is an a cybernetic transcription we obtained via a computer we initialized with all the available info about Justin.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.