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An interview with Justin Timberlake
Justin Timberlake
Justin Timberlake born January 31st, 1981 (Aquarius)
In his concealed cavern Justin Timberlake is frenziedly looking for a way to develop ducks with 4 legs (pixabay photo)

I've heard you are writing a book on your life. Is it true?
Yes! It is regrettable that I have so little time to put down the words. Last week I've read the back cover of the book "Of Mice and Men", and I found it quite acceptable. Hence, I've instructed my agent to contact the author - a certain John Steinbeck - since I need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not heard any answer.

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
A court order restrains me from talking about it.

If you’re at karaoke, what’s your song of choice?
If I cannot sing my songs, I can win everyone's admiration singing "Touch Me" by Samantha Fox.

Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
I can proudly confess that I make my own exclusive brand. My toilet paper is obtained from Pterytrapia admirabilis, an elusive green poppy that only grows in Nepal.

Could you tell us what's your earliest memory?
Actually, I'm filming right now the ad for a new cologne called "My Earliest Memory", so I cannot speak about the subject without the advice of my agent.

I would like to test that cologne on credulos passerbies.
I'll let you have a free sample so you can play with it.

What is the most uncanny dream you have ever had?
I dreamed being spanked by the ghost of Aristotle. In the meantime I kept repeating "I did not eat my aunt's prairie dog".

Which is your forthcoming musical experiment?
Next week I'll release a cryptic recording of techno-trance covers of Joe Cocker greatest hits, sung in Punjabi, Icelandic and Javanese. It is very personal and jet of cosmic charm.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Justin Timberlake's home telephone number :
534027507 8256341122 5095952717 865332617 2797443917 5450434284 4498757964 8510471685 9752503869 770305327 218323513 4082233293 234462171 3256356155 207558382 407717260 3537004222 6283338308 365755029 628606091
My hurried rendezvous with Justin Timberlake has been patiently arranged days beforehand. The resulting article was excellent, like "Great Expectations" rewritten by Hellboy. Hence, it was very damaging, to put it mildly, that my cat ate my only copy! After I recounted my vitals, I made an attempt to recollect those fantastic words. To be straight here: I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page is a perfectly truthful run-down of what transpired during our appointment, and now I'm starting to doubt it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.