A talk with Kathleen Turner
Kathleen Turner
Kathleen Turner born June 19th, 1954 (Gemini)
Writing her will, Kathleen Turner has requested that her body should be donated to aliens (pixabay photo)

In an essay appeared on International Philosophical Studies, dr. Kenneth Long has described your roles as "a perfect incarnation of latest pragmatic illusionism". Which is your reaction?
Actually, I think that in his interesting letter printed on Journal of Qualitative Conceptualism, prof. John Thomas utterly disproved that preposterous assumption.

Are you allergic to anything?
I'm allergic to gophers, aspirin and negativity.

Your agent told me you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was the accomodation?
To be frank, I lived 3 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Hilton hotel. However, I learnt to move light objects with my mind.

What’s your worst habit?
Most people believe that I'm without defects, but often I drink beer directly from the bottle.

Could you improvise a poem for us.
Yep! Here it is

The weasel of sadness
The white weasel of sadness
races on the dismal grasslands of desolation
as I look in the eye this existence madness.
If only it had been the pig of sadness
I could have bacon at least.

If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
I'd have to say Bilbo Baggins.

You know that that's not a real person, right?
It's not!? How could you say that to me so empty-heartedly!?

Do you have a favorite flag?
I think it is that of Novistrana. If I'm not mistaken, it is purple and black with a little brown armadillo somewhere. Novistrana is a wonderful but desperate nation. They are so derelict their national hymn is the Big Red gum jingle sung backward.

There is no possibility any of these is Kathleen Turner's home telephone number :
2075288898 7358191073 3810552944 2411444688 3304938741 6644055364 490073608 4907905951 3166243666 977552995 9203665110 496783614 2008053489 8404062641 961657670 9420600075 8598712064 701989885 2474606849 4935340105
To be honest, my director had patiently scheduled my conversation with Kathleen Turner several weeks beforehand. Regrettably, I got stoned watching the DVD of "B*A*P*S". So, the interview above is essentially based on what Kathleen Turner would have probably answered if I have met her, as indicated by a statistics involving a couple of her fans.
Other interviews worth checking:
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.