Which is your trick to achieve everlasting beauty?
Curiously, it is an ablution with hot cement twice a month.
I've heard you are writing a book on your life. Is it true?
Yes! It is lamentable that I have little time to write. Last week I've read the summary of the condensed version of "Anna Karenina", and I found it quite acceptable. So, I told my agent to call the author - a certain Leo Tolstoy - since I truly need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not received any answer.
Could you corroborate the rumours about the stolen Chupacabra pictures?
Can I? Oh sure! Do I want? You think i've lost my mind!
Which is your favorite movie?
Surely "Soul Plane". I think that Mo'Nique was a blessing.
If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I figure a chipmunk. A large, fat, peaceful chipmunk, sated and sleepy in the summer shade.
Do people scream your name and follow you everywhere you go?
But of course! I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. My force is that I'm universal: I'm known to impress wealthy NASA scientists and homely second-rate strippers to the same extent. Say, there are at least 13 plazas with my name in four different countries, not counting Gondor and Tuvalu, which I did not know they were countries.
Do you like to cook?
To be honest, I believe that cooking is a waste of time. After all, there are cafeterias and fans more than willing to deliver my daily dose of sugars and vitamines. In the few occasions I oblige to cook for my friends, I like to invent salads. My masterpiece is a mix of sausages and seitan, which I think can satisfy both vegans and normal people.
Intriguing! Could you share the recipe?
Sure! You take the sausages and the seitan and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some rye bread.
It does not matter, my recipe comes from one for sandwiches. After you made the sandwiches, you throw away the bread and mix sausages and seitan with some lemon juice and there it is!
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