A talk with Kaya Scodelario
Kaya Scodelario
Kaya Scodelario born March 13th, 1992 (Pisces)
Paul Roberts, the new Kaya Scodelario's head of security, is constantly experimenting alternative ways to keep away stalkers and irritating supporters (pixabay photo)

Could you deny the hearsay about your role in the flimsy incident of Chupacabra DNA samples?
Humanity can't handle the truth!

Do you like to cook?
To be honest, I believe that preparing meals is quite a waste of energy, since there are relatives and bars more than willing to provide my daily RDA of fats and sugars. In the few occasions I decide to cook for my buddies, I like to create salads. My treasure is a mix of spam and seaweeds, which I presume can be cool for both vegans and normal people.

Interesting! Would you like to share the recipe?
By all means! You take the spam and the seaweeds and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some salted brioches.

Salted brioches?
It does not matter, my recipe comes from one for sandwiches. After you made the sandwiches, you discard the bread and mix spam and seaweeds with some sour cream and there it is!

Apart from acting, is there one thing you do exceptionally well?
You know, I can play the banjo while I ride a unicycle.

Kaya, what is your opinion about the current USA president?
I assured my parrot I would not imprecate in public anymore, so I'd pretend I did not hear the question.

What do you think about the international situation?
I think it is unfortunately very harsh, since there are nations where it is difficult to find even an almost passable martini.

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Guess so! Here it is

The cow of remorse
The large cow of remorse
dies on the murky plains of hallucination
when I stare at the wreck of this planet.
If only it had been the boar of remorse
we could have bacon at least.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Kaya Scodelario's home telephone number :
3124894380 454183432 7416613125 3979595295 9726210988 6271930729 4244414262 642017747 6137889123 4024694773 988595816 6046918508 3267947149 2558671458 2287983380 3019165496 3323186719 9516755232 203508360 5836884744
Celebrities are over-booked people. It's difficult for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Kaya Scodelario totally alone and we obtained the interview above without her help. Hence, this web page is an a cybernetic transcription we obtained via a computer program we supplied with all the available info about Kaya.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.