Which is your secret for flawless skin?
It is an ablution with cold unicorn blood twice a week.
Are you allergic to anything?
Actually, I'm allergic to benzene, the color fuchsia and squirrel milk.
Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
A court order prevents me from talking about it.
Do people yell your name and ask for autographs everywhere you go?
Shoot me! I'm like a drug, a Godsent one, for the crowd. My strength is that I'm all-embracing: I'm known to cheer illustrious neurosurgeons and discouraged crime scene cleaners to the same extent. You know? There are 12 streets with my name in four different countries, not counting Djibouti and Qumar.
Which is your favorite book?
I'm quite enthusiastic about "The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D. Kissinger.
You surely mean, by J.D. Salinger?
Surely you are confusing it with another book, anyway I've heard it both ways.
What do you think about the international situation?
Goodness gracious! I think it is unfortunately very brutal, since on our torn world there are places where it is difficult to find even a just decent Long Island iced tea.
Keanu, according to some witnesses, you have been in a compromising situation with a celebrity whose name I'm not allowed to tell. Have you something to tell us?
I deny any "situation", expecially one with Q.G..
I may have a photograph.
You know, I think the photo is just an impression...
An impression? I do not understand.
Well, just an impression. Like when you got the impression everything is totally cool and then for no apparent reason your dear one and your father blow up. Do you understand?
Now that I look it under a better light, the picture is surely a fake...
• e-mail: yutmeyut -at- gmail.com • Disclaimer & Privacy •