A conversation with Kelis
Kelis born August 21st, 1979 (Leo)
By popular demand of her fans, Kelis will platonically sleep in a bunk bed with a devotee one night a month. The profits ($1,000 per night) will be granted to an organization for the cure of legionellosis in cows (source)

Kelis, which is your method for eternal beauty?
Curiously, it is a weekly ablution with warm tomato sauce.

How would you illustrate your music to somebody who'd never experienced it before?
Well, I've heard there are one or two such chaps in the Bolivian rainforest or in the Kalahari desert. I would say that my songs are like a sugary vanilla muffin with a shocking heart of vinegar.

Kelis, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Kelis' marvel". In the middle of one of my famed explorations of Bolivian plateau, I uncovered an unknown shrub, now named Cototropana nodulosa, that blooms only every 9 years. It then gives fruits whose taste reminds of lemons and tar. It sounds unappetizing, but it may cause dependency.

Kelis, you are always in tip-top condition. How do you do that?
I have invented the Blue Diet: during the month of December I eat just blue foods, like blueberries, blue Smarties, robin's eggs and naturally deceased blue jays.

Where did you go on your last vacation?
Last year I leased a luxurious manor in a secluded valley of Andorra. The payment included a moat surrounding the manor to ensure my privacy and also a horde of extras portraying paparazzi.

What would Kelis do to solve the problem of ferocity and violence that is jeopardizing present-day society?
Well, in my opinion, giving one million of bucks to every citizen can solve many issues, but most politicians are greedy decrepit punks scarcely receptive of my suggestions.

Which is the most shameful DVD (or VHS) in your possession?
Aw shucks! Apart from "Twilight", which was a gift, I fear it is "Showgirls". That was really a hiccup in the career of Kyle MacLachlan!

What happen if you play your song "Good Stuff" backward?
Your hi-fi system may disintegrate.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Kelis' secret telephone number :
6425740793 826802691 768825274 9981539404 2572954052 8244418323 3769786681 934793965 3365372642 8839075379 3918887218 4155259085 6541378660 2795144381 5784764572 3753559038 9030188950 570464525 3617033097 773655849
To be sincere, my chief had patiently lined up my brief conversation with Kelis weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, I decided at the last moment that I had better things to do, like visiting Canada or growing medicinal herbs. So, the transcript above is essentially the elaboration of a dream I had after a copious dinner of beans and raw onions.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Lindsay Lohan Stanley Tucci Krysten Ritter Meg Ryan Amy Acker Milla Jovovich Mark Ruffalo Elisha Cuthbert Bill Murray Robert Pattinson Mary-Louise Parker Stanley Tucci Kate Mara Carla Gugino Ann-Margret Jon Bernthal Martin Freeman Lana Del Rey Robert Patrick
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.