Modern society seems to be subject to ferocity and criminality. What would Kerli do?
Actually, I believe that appointing an armed escort to every person can make many problems go away, but most lawmakers are just close-fisted aged punks hardly enticed by my ideas.
Where did you go on your last holiday?
Last month I leased an exclusive manor in a secretive valley of Burundi. The deal included a mined drawbridge to preserve my privacy but also a mob of extras impersonating supporters.
Could you refute the noise about the loss of the Mongolian death worm photos?
For cryin' out load! It appears you are showing an illogical desire to join the great majority. Capeesh? You know, I know a guy who knows a guy that for $2000,... Whatever. You like surprises, don't ya?
What are you working about?
I'm writing the music score for a remake of "Big Top Pee-Wee", a timeless masterpiece whose importance has not been acknowledged by viewers.
Do you know Barbara Williams (a former illustrator, now a diversional therapist) from San Bernardino?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been married to her for 3 weeks. Then there was a rumor about Barbara having affairs with every beefcake from San Bernardino suburbia, so their marriage came to a hasty ending.
How popular do you think you are, on a scale of one to ten?
I don't know. I think I'm a three in Las Vegas, but a seven in Tibet.
Could you improvise a song for us.
Sure! Here it is
I heard that you will soon be busy with a charity cooking marathon. Would you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such an embarrassing effort?
I had to for a small clause in my last contract, which forced me to fake an interest in good deeds.
And how long have you been feeling an urge to fight dengue?
Oh, since always.
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