A conversation with Kim Basinger
Kim Basinger
Kim Basinger born December 8th, 1953 (Sagittarius)
Kim Basinger suspects that in an alternative universe she is a rag doll (pixabay photo)

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I figure a ferret. A big, fat, tranquil ferret, well fed and somnolent in a summer breeze.

Kim, some witnesses have seen you in an embarassing situation with a famous person whose name I'm not allowed to expose. Do you care to comment?
I deny any "situation", expecially one with U.G..

I may have a photograph.
You know, the photo is probably just an accident...

An accident? I do not understand.
You know, accidents are known to occur. Like when you "accidentally" photoshop a photo. Or, for example, your office may be "accidentally" searched by the CIA looking for some verboten things somebody may have "accidentally" hidden there. Are we clear now?

I was joking, there is no photo at all...
Do you have problems with movie directors?

I prefer directors who make crystal clear what they want from me, so I can do the reverse.

Do you Google yourself often?
Say every day or so. But lately Google often asks "Did you mean Kim Businger", who allegedly is a geophysicist from Tucson. That's quite distressing, but not as much worrisome as learning that for Yahoo my name is similar to a shocking curse in Polish.

What's the strangest nightmare you’ve ever had?
I dreamed being blamed by the ghost of Voltaire. I kept yelling "I did not paint my cousin's prairie dog".

There is no possibility any of these is Kim Basinger's secret telephone number :
4445373806 5584716247 3399349023 8697851116 9182651083 7126665963 8173011748 4197946495 7691735332 8379827916 619377730 4710087608 4984169957 6014412670 9908675958 2798209550 8319283548 609372814 881525755 6970011071
I have a confession to make. My chief had patiently scheduled my short exchange with Kim Basinger several weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, I realized I had better things to do, like learning Tibetan or collecting feathers. So, the interview above is mainly the elaboration of a nightmare I had after a dinner of deep-fried bell peppers and wild boar stew.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.