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A conversation with Kirsten Dunst
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Kirsten Dunst
Kirsten Dunst born April 30th, 1982 (Taurus)
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Kirsten Dunst has signed a petition for the reintroduction of the runic calendar (source)

I'm here tonight with a special guest, Kirsten Dunst, who just survived the mammoth task of her last movie. Hi, Kirsten, and welcome to Crunch Your Celebrity!.
It's a pleasure being here, also because your building is next to a frankfurter place I dig a lot.

When you were a little girl, did you see yourself as a professional actress?
Sadly no, and I still dream that, one day, spiders will rule the earth without the need for secrecy.

Do you know Bill C. Campbell (a former gardener, now a paediatrician) from Portland?
No, I don't, but my aunt has been married to him for 2 weeks. Then there was a public embarrassment about the strange suicide of a former lover, so their marriage came to a quick conclusion.

What is your take of the next Oscar dispute?
Frankly, this is an elephant in the room.

Kirsten, do you have something to say to your youngest fans?
Yep! Don't let the color of your skin deter you from anything. But buy a sunscreen or you'll get burned anyhow.

Have you ever participated in a séance?
Yes! But just one time. It was an extremely unsettling experience. At a certain point, the spirit of Von Clausewitz manifested and hypothesized that I'm probably the reincarnation of a Mark Twain's cousin.

Your zodiac sign is Taurus. Are you a typical Taurus?
Definitely! I'm cheerful, somehow lazy, headstrong and tolerant. My relatives say that I'm also a little paradoxical but that I think it is normal in artist.

I heard that you will soon participate to a charity eating marathon. Would you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a titanic effort?
I had to for a little clause in my last contract, which prescribed me to increase the number of charity events I attend.

And since when did you feel a need to inform people about laryngitis?
Since I was a little girl, and my parents would argue about it.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Kirsten Dunst's home telephone number :
2184705652 5225233191 7439214185 7834513037 4471509762 582626557 6861901556 9224470189 7693588625 9093025255 6043125419 269587796 983197570 7811428658 448481618 448010712 3086432557 2760183451 5328702851 5141604561
To be sincere, my director had patiently planned my short rendezvous with Kirsten Dunst many weeks beforehand. Regrettably, I realized at the last moment that I had better things to do, like cultivating poison ivy or walking my pet armadillo. So, the interview above is essentially the elaboration of a nightmare I had following a dinner of beans and cabbage stew.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Dolly Parton Christina Aguilera Pauley Perrette Elizabeth Mitchell Donna Summer Zooey Deschanel Vanessa Carlton Jean-Claude Van Damme Robert De Niro Michelle Branch Laura Prepon Oleta Adams Odeya Rush Neneh Cherry Jamelia M.I.A. Jamie Chung Allison Janney Andrea Osvárt
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.