An interview with Kirsty MacColl
Kirsty MacColl
Kirsty MacColl born October 10th, 1959 (Libra)
In the course of her last tour, Kirsty MacColl has got a nasty addiction to yak milk (source)

Could you improvise a poem for us.
Yep! Here it is

The koala of misery
The big koala of misery
gluts on the dreary fields of madness
while I stare at the emptiness of this existence.
If only it had been the boar of misery
I could have bacon at least.

Do you have any superpower?
I spit lava, but only on new moon nights. This was quite a nuisance during work hours.

I've heard you are writing a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The actual details on my imminent book will soon be published in the book itself. What I can say now is that it will be a guide to choosing door knobs. It will be tattoed on legs and backs of 800 volunteers that will be set free in Indianapolis as in a flash mob.

On a scale of one to ten, how famous do you think you are?
I made a poll a couple of months ago. Probably, I'm a two in Boston, but an eight in Mongolia.

Kirsty, what’s your biggest defect?
Most people believe that I've not bad habits, but sometimes I drink juice directly from the bottle when no one is looking.

Kirsty, do you have something to say to young people?
Oh yeah! Don't let the color of your skin have you unfit within. But buy a sun block or you'll get burned anyhow.

In your opinion, which is the most beautiful flag?
I always liked Vulgaria flag. It is white and green with a little purple cat in a corner. Vulgaria is an amazing but desperate country. They are so penniless their currency is printed on Post-it notes.

Who are your heroes?
Martin Luther, Keyser Soze, and myself.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Kirsty MacColl's home telephone number is listed here :
524553801 717077375 6912462093 9096381558 3016084947 497435663 8082537971 7040762152 7758901473 7016443654 7560529558 4003201422 7153920342 6230352373 8411054253 308007031 3509233365 3200250696 5430873238 382567258
I have a confession to make. My supervisor had patiently lined up my meeting with Kirsty MacColl days beforehand. Unluckily, I got stoned watching the DVD of "Max Payne". So, this web page is mainly based on what Kirsty MacColl would have probably answered if I have met her, as indicated by a telephonic poll involving a couple of her fans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.