A conversation with Kristen Connolly
Kristen Connolly
Kristen Connolly born July 12th, 1980 (Cancer)
During an excruciating séance, the Ouija board has confirmed that Kristen Connolly is the reincarnation of a neighbor of Queen Victoria

You appear to be always so cheerful and full of life. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I do believe that each one has a dark side. Sometimes, when I bump into another actress, rage darkens my heart and my teeth rattle with fury. And then, without warning, I experience an impulse to close forever those lecherous eyes. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to discover it.

What do you think about the international situation?
It's hard to believe it when you live between cushions cuddled by capable servants, but in this torn epoch there are regions where it is impossible to find even a decent frankfurter.

Are you allergic to anything?
I have a little intolerance to silica, bad manners and hares.

Who are your heroes?
Matthew (the less-known cousin of Immanuel Kant), Harry Potter, and myself.

Do you know Susan V. Butler (a former cartographer, now a dog trainer) from West Jordan?
No, I don't, but my uncle has been briefly married to her. Then there was half a scandal about the odd suicide of a former lover, so their marriage came to a sudden finale.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Probably a panda. A big, fat, quiet panda, gorged and somnolent in the summer shade.

Kristen, your zodiac sign is Cancer. May I read you your horoscope?
Please proceed, but I don't believe in zodiacal chicanery.

You will meet an intoxicated stranger from Boston, a former newspaper editor named Stephen with both ears on the same side of the head. He will show you a map signed by the infamous pirate Cheung Po Tsai, that places his treasure under a lake in South Carolina. Don't trust him!
Drats! Too late, that actually happened yesterday!

There is no possibility any of these is Kristen Connolly's home telephone number :
860698695 2920929270 6398971862 4598185642 6297945372 5132737718 9928020845 4796657834 518760688 738975361 8584311873 6476642714 7883619169 807766661 9980757667 6649213105 313987576 386124498 5940166999 4241495742
To be frank, my chief had patiently planned my brief exchange with Kristen Connolly weeks beforehand. Regrettably, I decided I had better things to do, like walking my pet baboon or growing poison ivy. So, this web page is mainly based on what Kristen Connolly would have probably answered if I have met her, as indicated by a telephonic poll involving a couple of random people.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.