What motivates you to act?
The fact that, as Nero Wolfe said, "An actor can practice anywhere any time with anybody, and most of them do."
Kristen, which is your method for eternal beauty?
As you may have imagined, it is a soaking into warm yak milk twice a week.
What's the strangest nightmare you have ever had?
Not actually a dream: I was in a deserted dark space. A vicios stench permeating the air. Then I realized I got plastered at a screening of "Meet the Spartans" in a shabby cinema near Austin.
As everybody knows, the problem of carbon monoxide poisoning in tigers is reaching monumental proportions. Is Kristen Stewart doing anything in this respect?
Oh yes! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night every two weeks. The proceeds ($1,200/night) will be granted to a charity for the cure of carbon monoxide poisoning in tigers.
How famous do you think you are, on a scale of one to ten?
I made a poll last winter. I think I'm a one in Austin, but a six in Bulgaria.
Who were you in your first school play?
It was rather embarassing. It was a play on the life of Thomas Alva Edison. I played a carrot: the director was intoxicated most of the time.
I've heard you are writing a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The actual details on my imminent book will soon be printed in another book. What I can say now is that it will be my unofficial autobiography. It will be tattoed on backs and arms of 900 volunteers that will be freed in Irving as in a flash mob.
If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
I'd have to say Harry Potter.
With all due respect, you know that that's not a real person, right?
YOU ARE NOT REAL!
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