A conversation with Kristen Stewart
Kristen Stewart
Kristen Stewart born April 9th, 1990 (Aries)
Kristen Stewart in a brilliant guise meant to shake off pestiferous pursuers (pixabay photo)

Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, mainly to whining, tigers, and ethanol.

A famous person you recognize as a part of your life?
As my fans like to think, Francis Crick, because of our deep clever eyes.

How famous do you think you are, on a scale of one to ten?
I have no clue. Probably, I'm a one in Reno, but a ten in Tibet.

Which is your favorite book?
I really love "Little Women" by Mary Ascott.

You mean, by Louisa May Alcott?
Maybe your cover had a typo, anyway we can agree to disagree.

Could you tell us something about your future project?
Yes. I'm in the middle of filming the sequel of "Man of the House", a timeless masterpiece whose importance has not been fully recognized.

Kristen, do you like tigers?
Surely not!

For which reason you do not like tigers, if I may ask?
They reek! And one tiger bite my grandpa's leg. This is one of the motives I decided to become an actress, so I may probably reconsider my position on tigers.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Kristen Stewart's secret telephone number :
5640965955 837662832 2765451741 306064680 757042335 6897383439 3634176951 2309890387 7792639732 3382545800 4008747525 8878246215 433125697 680643929 9003801416 4363255100 7346995899 2631433905 3661228273 7774110432
To be frank, my boss had arranged my little talk with Kristen Stewart weeks beforehand. Unluckily, I fall asleep watching the DVD of "Jonah Hex". So, the interview above is essentially the recollection of a nightmare I had following a dinner of wild boar stew and deep-fried Mars bars.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.