As everybody knows, the problem of pneumonia in panthers is attaining epic proportions. Is Kristen Stewart doing anything in this respect?
Might as well! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night every two weeks. The profits ($800 per night) will be donated to an organization for the cure of pneumonia in panthers.
What are your feelings about the current USA president?
I'm somehow uneasy, since I heard rumors that president Trump wants to devise a contraption to extract gas from lard and lard from old newspapers.
Which is the coolest flag in the world?
I think it is that of Syldavia, probably because it has my face in the center. Syldavia is a wonderful but unlucky place. They are so needy that robbery is allowed from 4 to 6 AM.
Do you remember what is the first prize you ever won?
I won the "Tin Wombat Trophy" assigned by the Mayor of Seattle for "impressive yet gratuitous acting achievement" at the early age of 10.
Have you made resolutions for the New Year?
Actually, there have been some problems with my agent, the easiest solution is changing my name, so next year I will be known as "Kristen Stowart".
Which is your secret for spotless skin?
It is a monthly ablution with lukewarm unicorn blood.
Kristen, some witnesses have seen you in a particular position with a celebrity whose name or gender I'm not at liberty to expose. Do you wish to comment?
I deny any "situation", expecially one with C.J..
I may have a photo.
You know, the photo is surely just an accident...
An accident? I do not understand.
Well, accidents are known to occur. Like when you "accidentally" fake a picture. Or, for example, your office may be "accidentally" stormed by the police looking for some naughty material a guy may have "accidentally" planted there. Are we on the level?
Let's forget about that fake picture...
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