Cookie Consent by An interview with Kristen Stewart
An interview with Kristen Stewart
Kristen Stewart
Kristen Stewart born April 9th, 1990 (Aries)
Kristen Stewart has been unhappy with the true situation and appliances of the extra-ritzy hotel she chose from the catalog of the "Scoundrel Travels" tour operator (pixabay photo)

As everybody knows, the problem of pneumonia in panthers is attaining epic proportions. Is Kristen Stewart doing anything in this respect?
Might as well! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night every two weeks. The profits ($800 per night) will be donated to an organization for the cure of pneumonia in panthers.

What are your feelings about the current USA president?
I'm somehow uneasy, since I heard rumors that president Trump wants to devise a contraption to extract gas from lard and lard from old newspapers.

Which is the coolest flag in the world?
I think it is that of Syldavia, probably because it has my face in the center. Syldavia is a wonderful but unlucky place. They are so needy that robbery is allowed from 4 to 6 AM.

Do you remember what is the first prize you ever won?
I won the "Tin Wombat Trophy" assigned by the Mayor of Seattle for "impressive yet gratuitous acting achievement" at the early age of 10.

Have you made resolutions for the New Year?
Actually, there have been some problems with my agent, the easiest solution is changing my name, so next year I will be known as "Kristen Stowart".

Which is your secret for spotless skin?
It is a monthly ablution with lukewarm unicorn blood.

Kristen, some witnesses have seen you in a particular position with a celebrity whose name or gender I'm not at liberty to expose. Do you wish to comment?
I deny any "situation", expecially one with C.J..

I may have a photo.
You know, the photo is surely just an accident...

An accident? I do not understand.
Well, accidents are known to occur. Like when you "accidentally" fake a picture. Or, for example, your office may be "accidentally" stormed by the police looking for some naughty material a guy may have "accidentally" planted there. Are we on the level?

Let's forget about that fake picture...

There is no possibility any of these is Kristen Stewart's secret telephone number :
5619628254 6010154210 596118676 9364391765 7070090067 281940899 252743124 8966302301 8101949659 5268239512 2112213115 4514690566 6356077001 5569245769 622347025 6498311478 3587219015 398424226 5776418134 812504667
I patiently sat tight for many weeks before being able to have a short talk with Kristen Stewart. The resulting article was amazing, like it was written by the ghost of Virginia Wolf under the effects of unhealthy beverages. So, it was awfully deplorable, to put it mildly, that my cousin Roger by accident (I hope!) shredded my only copy! After I put the blame on karma, I tried to recollect those wondrous words. To be frank, I'm not one hundred percent sure this web page contains a completely accurate report of our exchange, and now I'm beginning to ask myself if it actually was real...
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Georgina Haig Krysten Ritter Donna Summer Ethan Hawke Julian Morris Natasha Lyonne Diana Ross Ellen Burstyn Charles Aznavour Tara Reid Kendra Wilkinson Candice Patton Robert Carlyle Jessica Alba Morgan Freeman Linda Cardellini Daveigh Chase Rose McGowan Amy Smart
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.