A talk with Kristin Bauer van Straten
Kristin Bauer van Straten
Kristin Bauer van Straten born November 26th, 1966 (Sagittarius)
Few people know that Kristin Bauer van Straten has requested a patent for an inflatable tie. (source)

Are you allergic to anything?
Actually, I'm allergic to methanol, bullshit and gazelles.

What do you have in your pockets?
I got a pile of banknotes in my pockets. You may look at them in awe, you can ever caress them, but they are mine, all mine. My preciouss roll of notes...

Who are your heroes?
Walter (the less-known uncle of Alexander the Great), Homer Simpson, and myself.

Kristin, is there a deep meaning hidden in "Bad Blood"?
May so! That after all, tomorrow is another day!.

Kristin, what do you think about president Trump?
Sorry, I was under the impression this was a funny interview, not a gloomy one.

You are always in fine fettle. Which is your secret?
I have devised the Blue Diet: during the month of June I eat exclusively blue foods, like blueberries, blue crabs, blue potatoes and my special Smurf stew.

In an essay published on Texan Transactions on Alternate Metaphysics, dr. Paul Wood described your movies as "a dramatic personification of today pragmatic irrationalism". Any comment?
Well, it is evident that in his last article printed on International Transactions on Mathematical Utopianism, prof. Daniel L. Gray totally discredited that frivolous assumption.

Do you have any scar?
I have a little lobster shaped scar on my left thigh, a memento of my problematic confrontation with a raving raccoon.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Kristin Bauer van Straten's home telephone number is listed here :
295817892 4377862357 8070293963 2068954381 5540535599 973468117 6217578781 9759493853 2743547239 5028765606 4693381515 988715513 4742436737 8292739718 6462171866 8748625430 8764055821 317770757 8925801742 538398613
I patiently queued up forever before being able to have a little meeting with Kristin Bauer van Straten. The resulting interview was mind-blowing, like "The Scarlet Letter" rewritten by Harry Potter. Hence, it was untoward, to put it mildly, that my neighbor (maybe on purpose!) destroyed my only copy! After I regained my composure, I made an attempt to recall those breathtaking words. To be straight, I'm not so certain this web page contains a perfectly accurate chronicle of our talk, and I'm beginning to question whether it ever took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.