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A talk with Kristin Hersh
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Kristin Hersh
Kristin Hersh born August 7th, 1966 (Leo)
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Kristin Hersh always uses a scientific way to choose her next song (pixabay photo)

In a paper appeared on Journal of Humanistic Ethnocentrism, dr. Walter Garcia observed that your songs are "a perfect epitome of present-day symbolic intuitionism". Any comment?
Actually, I think that in his last essay printed on Texan Philosophical Quarterly, prof. Gary Lewis totally discredited that preposterous point of view.

Kristin, you seem to be always so radiant and full of life. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. Everyone has two sides. At times, when I bump into a so-called artist, my heart grows darker and my teeth chatter with fury. And suddenly, I fight a compulsion to obliterate her jeering smile. That is my amiable side... I let you figure out how my dark side is.

Present-day world seems exposed to ferocity and violence. What would Kristin Hersh do?
I think we can learn to face criminality from past movies, like "Brazil" and "Mad Max".

If there was a movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It's a no-brainer: Angelina Jolie. We were in the same scout troop (go Webworms!) when we were in high scool.

Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
I can tell you that I make my own exclusive brand. My personal toilet paper is obtained from the fibers of Schizocallis molesta, an almost extinct tree native of Atlantis.

Kristin, what’s your biggest defect?
Most people think I'm without defects, but often I drink ketchup from the container.

Kristin, have you made resolutions for the New Year?
Actually, I have some legal issues regarding my last contract, so to get to dough, next year I will be known as "Kristin Hursh".

If I may say so, Kristin, you are well known for your bizarre requests when staying in hotels. Can you tell us why and maybe make an example of something you usually ask?
Lately I've found that I can't stay anywhere without a tiger cub or mammoth jerky delivered every three hours to my room.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Kristin Hersh's home telephone number is listed here :
2761534631 310762071 2744571380 5817294080 6284765407 9376989275 8557934889 8577129694 481369099 8670410538 4402557012 2430626329 436803972 285357498 9119109555 2265271274 869893437 917807719 6856797126 2412749012
My rendezvous with Kristin Hersh has been scheduled several months in advance. The resulting article was marvelous, like it was written by Louisa May Alcott under the effects of prescription exotic beverages. It was highly damaging that my neighbor set my only copy on fire! After I emerged from coma, I attempted to extract from my failing memory those stunning words. So, to be aboveboard, I'm not one hundred percent sure this web page contains a totally truthful chronicle of our rendezvous, and I'm beginning to ask myself if it actually happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.