An interview with Lacey Chabert
Lacey Chabert
Lacey Chabert born September 30th, 1982 (Libra)
During the month of March Lacey Chabert eats just blue foods, like blueberries, blue dragonflies, blue potatoes and the so-called Smurf stew, whose details are a bizarre riddle we prefer to leave wrapped up in its enigma (pixabay photo)

We are here tonight with Lacey Chabert, who just made her way through her last movie. Hi, Lacey, and welcome to Celebrities Are Better Than You.
Good evening to you, and thank you for calling me.

Apart from acting, is there one thing in which you excel?
You know, I can deliver "The Tyger" by William Blake backwards in 4 different languages including Swahili.

Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
Common brands are for common people. My personal toilet paper is obtained from Melacapripana moronica, a rare black rose that only grows in Nepal.

Do you do your own shopping?
I'm so time-poor while performing influential things to waste time on such minutiae. Usually, I hire a bunch of Stanford PhDs to compile my grocery list and texting it to a gang of professional buyers distributed around the planet. For the garbs, which are always critical, I ever have a bunch of surrogates, one for each body part.

Can you tell me the square root of 818226345?
According to my fans the politically correct answer is 53.

Lacey, do you have any superpower?
Surprise surprise! I can use two voices at once (one not mine), except if it is raining.

A fictional character you recognize as a part of your life?
In a sense, Elizabeth I of England, because of our similar way of living. We both enjoy the company of cute dogs.

When you were a little girl, did you see acting as your career?
No chance! My mother and I decided that I would have become a librarian. But, you know, things don't always go as planned.

Lacey Chabert refused to let me know her private telephone number, but here is a list of random numbers you can dream about :
7465625424 8523824548 5291820938 5057900139 7875118601 7193521495 6214720573 9273608571 9769803862 8867545171 4277489942 2182195352 250324025 315492973 3533141916 2108263850 8358972644 232137891 459061859 5836659256
I dawdled forever before being able to have a hurried exchange with Lacey Chabert. The resulting interview was great, like it was written by the spirit of James Joice at his peak. Hence, it was very disastrous, to put it mildly, that my koala (on purpose!) ate my only copy! After I showed vital signs again, I made an attempt to summon up those fantastic words. Actually, to be honest here: I'm not really certain this web page is a totally truthful chronicle of our exchange, and I'm beginning to be uncertain it actually took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.