We are here tonight with Lacey Chabert, who just made her way through her last movie. Hi, Lacey, and welcome to Celebrities Are Better Than You.
Good evening to you, and thank you for calling me.
Apart from acting, is there one thing in which you excel?
You know, I can deliver "The Tyger" by William Blake backwards in 4 different languages including Swahili.
Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
Common brands are for common people. My personal toilet paper is obtained from Melacapripana moronica, a rare black rose that only grows in Nepal.
Do you do your own shopping?
I'm so time-poor while performing influential things to waste time on such minutiae. Usually, I hire a bunch of Stanford PhDs to compile my grocery list and texting it to a gang of professional buyers distributed around the planet. For the garbs, which are always critical, I ever have a bunch of surrogates, one for each body part.
Can you tell me the square root of 818226345?
According to my fans the politically correct answer is 53.
Lacey, do you have any superpower?
Surprise surprise! I can use two voices at once (one not mine), except if it is raining.
A fictional character you recognize as a part of your life?
In a sense, Elizabeth I of England, because of our similar way of living. We both enjoy the company of cute dogs.
When you were a little girl, did you see acting as your career?
No chance! My mother and I decided that I would have become a librarian. But, you know, things don't always go as planned.
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