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An interview with Lady Gaga
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Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga born March 28th, 1986 (Aries)
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The typical mien of her devotees (pixabay photo)

What's your earliest memory?
Well, I'm filming right now the ad for a new eau de toilette called "My Earliest Memory", so I cannot speak about the subject freely.

I can't wait to try that eau de toilette.
I'll let you have a free sample.

Which super power do you have?
I say! I can use two voices at once (one not mine), since I was 7.

Lady, you are always so strapping. Which is your secret?
I have devised the Blue Diet: during the month of March I eat just blue foods, like blueberries, robin's eggs, blue crabs and naturally deceased blue jays.

Does your assistant use a pseudonym when he makes reservation for, say, a flight? You know, to protect your privacy and to escape stalkers and supporters
You bet! We'll do whatever is necessary to steer clear of those cannibals. We generally employ the moniker "Lady Guga".

Who are your heroes?
Ernest Hemingway, Morticia Addams, and myself.

Where do you go when you die?
I think that usually the stiffs have the tendency to stay put.

How famous do you think you are, on a scale of one to ten?
I'm not sure. I think I'm a two in Denver, but a nine in Nepal.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Lady Gaga's secret telephone number :
3626321936 6028889890 5760317511 2190175214 6138527271 490872093 373156679 9178753387 5031416937 363752031 8322981011 6405306783 7927733650 7730371147 480867752 5876692283 703386806 4563689827 3313090310 9108413554
Vips are frantic people. It's not easy for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Lady Gaga alone and obtain the interview above without disturbing her. Therefore, this web page is an an esoteric transcription we obtained employing a professional telepath.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.