A conversation with Laura Dern
Laura Dern
Laura Dern born February 10th, 1967 (Aquarius)
As it happens to many Aquarius people, Laura Dern is vulnerable to garden gnomes collecting addiction (source)

Do you have a favorite flag?
I think it is that of Zubrowka, probably because it has my face in the middle.

Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Ah, I remember that many years ago I was crossing Chad in a battered camper with a friend. You know, we were young and wild and so we did "it" in the meadows, in the middle of nature.

Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yes, here it is my fantastic remedy. In case of need mix three parts of scotch, one part of instant coffee and some black vinegar. Apply the resulting brew on your ankles and your tongue.

Do you have any birthmark?
I have a tiny armadillo shaped birthmark on my left shin. Probably my mother did have a nightmare involving an armadillo when she was pregnant.

Laura, can you share with us a memory of your role in "Jurassic Park"?
Dear me! They do not put together a cast like that anymore! There are a lot of compelling reasons for that...

I heard you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be honest, I lived 2 full weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Hilton hotel. On the bright side, I learnt to project my aura, about 7 inches far.

Can you tell me the square root of 1356117197?
According to my supporters the nicest answer is 52.

Laura, some witnesses have seen you in a compromising situation with a singer whose name I'm not allowed to announce. Do you want to comment?
I deny any such "situation", expecially one with G.Q..

I may have a photo.
Well, the photo has probably appeared spontaneously...

Spontaneously? I do not understand.
You know, probably some wandering photons spontaneously concocted an absolutely random picture in which you erroneously spotted me. For example, given the right conditions, your dear one or your house could "spontaneously" take fire. Capeesh?

Now that I look it better, the picture is very blurry...

Laura Dern refused to let me know her private telephone number, but here is a list of random numbers you can dream about :
3418415841 8092620515 532362454 327066386 7953631347 680962555 5984728874 8215302569 7012185667 7460949586 6831714090 946847784 3145724194 809475157 611019540 9270633370 6707720573 715250316 8172759745 9097042583
Vips are very frantic people. It's not easy for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Laura Dern totally alone and to obtain the interview above without disturbing her. Thus, this web page is an an algorithmic transcription we obtained employing a computer we supplied with all the available info about Laura.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.