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An interview with Lauryn Hill
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Lauryn Hill
Lauryn Hill born May 26th, 1975 (Gemini)
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Many people use to collect coins. Lauryn Hill likes to collect coins that have been found inside davenports. (pixabay photo)

One of your gems, "Doo Wop (That Thing)", is a universal hymn of protest. Does it also have a second meaning?
Yes, it's also my motivating song for when I have to clean the dishes.

What do you think about the international situation?
It's hard to realized it when you spend your days among piles of dough cuddled by venerating fans, but there are places where it is difficult to find even a decent Long Island iced tea.

Apart from singing, is there one thing you do exceptionally well?
I can balance a pile of coins on my teeth.

Do people scream your name and ask for autographs everywhere you go?
Yes! I'm like a medicine, a legit one, for most of the people. I really make no distinction as to gender or occupation: I delight outstanding MIT professors and unhappy public defenders alike. Say, there are 13 parks with my name in three different countries, not counting Botswana and Bangistan.

Lauryn, should you give up singing, which occupation would you like to pick up?
Almost surely that of professional sand castle builder, since I already have quite an experience in that field.

Lauryn, which is your method for unblemished skin?
As you may have guessed, it is a bath in jello once a month.

Lauryn, do you like prairie dogs?
I say not!

Why you do not like prairie dogs?
To be frank, they reek! And one prairie dog bite my grandpa's leg. This is one of the reasons I decided to become an artist, so I should probably reconsider my position on prairie dogs.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Lauryn Hill's private telephone number :
6240047809 2034597104 5111917991 2570413591 357986620 5027373462 2590546014 4680982067 9944742495 3886159843 3415955634 7253321700 681407168 268514177 3790793801 3740166696 626931086 8724702590 969345845 675924500
I patiently dawdled forever before being able to have a little exchange with Lauryn Hill. The resulting transcription was wondrous, like it was written by the spirit of Alexandre Dumas after too much vermouth. Hence, it was unfavorable that another inmate destroyed my only copy! After I put together again my vowels and consonants, I tried to recollect those mind-boggling words. I want to be aboveboard, I'm not so certain this web page contains a perfectly factual run-down of what transpired during our meeting, and thus I'm starting to wonder if it ever happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.