Cookie Consent by A talk with Lily Allen
A talk with Lily Allen
Lily Allen
Lily Allen born May 2nd, 1985 (Taurus)
Lily Allen is presently writing her unofficial autobiography, a monumental work soon to be released in daily instalments. (pixabay photo)

Your zodiac sign is Taurus. Are you a typical Taurus?
Guess so! I'm a little aloof, energetic, headstrong and antsy. My relatives say that I'm also a little paradoxical but that I think it is usual in artists.

Do you have a favorite book?
I'm very passionate about "Little Women" by Mary Ascott.

You mean, by Louisa May Alcott?
You sure? I think we can agree to disagree.

Which is the most embarrassing DVD (or blu-ray) in your possession?
Ooh la la! Apart from "Swept Away", I fear it is "Soul Plane". I think Mo'Nique was not too proud of it afterwards.

Can you rebut the rumours about your role in the flimsy incident of Bigfoot DNA samples?
Thou, mangled hell-hated skainsmate! How do you dare?

How would you describe your music to somebody who'd never heard it?
Well, travelers sometimes narrate that there are one or two such chaps in the Atacama desert or in Greenland. As I'm used to say, my music is like a fragrant banana cake with a surprising inner core made of napalm.

Do you have any birthmark?
I have a little gerbil shaped birthmark on my right ankle. Probably my father did unwittingly ingest a gerbil while my mother was pregnant.

Do you have a favorite flag?
I think it is that of Zamunda. If I'm not mistaken, it is white and red with a tiny gray anteater in the center. Zamunda is a proud but desperate nation. They are so poverty-stricken the national hymn is the Big Red gum jingle sung backward.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Lily Allen's home telephone number :
9618056536 203541359 577053233 2334505389 975306994 7937798292 904393110 4834846659 662795624 3059591280 975818921 2050145876 8379748068 212765152 3743879389 252541904 3786653859 4035689286 8778573697 305779714
I planned a meeting with Lily Allen for months. The resulting transcription was stunning, like it was written by the spirit of Kurt Vonnegut in his prime. Thus, it was very unfavorable, to put it mildly, that my doctor shredded my only copy! After I regained my composure, I attempted to recollect those magnificent words. So, to be clear, I'm not one hundred percent sure this web page is a perfectly truly report of our talk, and I'm starting to be uncertain it ever happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.