A talk with Linda Cardellini
Linda Cardellini
Linda Cardellini born June 25th, 1975 (Cancer)
Owing to a curious accident happened to her cousin, Linda Cardellini suffers with an irrational phobia for Smurfs and a rational one for Ouija boards (source)

You were awesome in "Grandma's Boy". Were you given plenty of room to mold your character?
Oh, yes! Oh, I nailed it! I like to improvise. It's like a second nature.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Yep! I have a yellow wombat on my left buttock. It is bioluminescent, so I can be retrieved if I get lost in Atlanta labyrinth, but unfortunately it works better if I'm slightly au naturel.

On a scale of one to ten, how famous are you?
I don't know. I think I'm a three in Chicago, but a nine in Bulgaria.

Could you tell us the story of your next movie?
Just a hint. It is the story of Kimberly, an interior decorator from Indianapolis. She is seized by an enigmatic sect and she is demanded to write absurd "completelY simUlated confabulaTions" for some web site, from a concealed underground lab. (If I can't be rescued, tell James I never loved him...)

Could you improvise a song for us.
No problem! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away your love,
you took the emotions away from me.
A comb, a scarf forgotten in a drawer
the desolate keepsakes of you.
You took yourself away from me,
everything I care you took away,
so how come your mother is here to stay?

Does your assistant use a pseudonym when he books, say, a flight? You know, to protect your privacy and to evade stalkers and supporters
That's for certain! We'll go to any length to escape those punks. I usually employ the alias "Linda Cerdellini".

What is your opinion about the controversial issue of global warming?
My opinion is that global warming is a grave issue. Anyway, my followers will surely approve my intention to acquire mainly villas at least 90 feet above the sea-level.

Where will you go on your next holiday?
For next summer I rented a ritzy castle on the hidden mountains of Latveria. The only problem was making a transfer in bitcoins to the cheerful gentleman from Nigeria that contacted me about business in the interweb.

Linda Cardellini refused to divulge her home telephone number, but here are some random numbers you can dream about :
5318433380 3057132162 9521599695 8939375868 5921484302 3755870629 2573852252 6222964014 8247865076 8041585083 963447324 252818963 5082822070 245897738 8126926926 3041498934 7975228816 7724062624 3579848649 4435455615
To be honest, my boss had lined up my exchange with Linda Cardellini many days beforehand. Regrettably, I decided I had better things to do, like breeding mites or collecting toothbrushes. So, the transcript above is essentially the elaboration of a nightmare I had following a heavy dinner of liver pâté and beans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.