A talk with Linda Ronstadt
Linda Ronstadt
Linda Ronstadt born July 15th, 1946 (Cancer)
According to whispered rumors Vladimir Putin is a great fan of Linda Ronstadt. He is gonna annex her. (source)

Apart from singing, what one thing do you do exceptionally well?
Actually, I can move both my ears.

Which is your favorite movie?
Surely "Next". I think that casting Julianne Moore for that character was a good move.

Linda, what do you think about president Trump?
I guaranteed my cat I would not talk dirty in public again, so I'd pretend I did not understand your question.

Can you deny the buzz about your role in the shady incident of Kraken DNA samples?
Humankind can't handle the truth!

Linda, according to some witnesses, you have been in a particular position with a famous person whose name I'm not authorized to make public. Do you have any comment?
If you mean H.X., then it was an absolutely innocent thing. I deny any other such "situation", expecially one with G.I...

I may have a picture.
Well, I think the photo is just an impression...

An impression? I do not understand.
Yes, just an impression. Like when you have the impression everything is all right in your life and then without a motive your office is stormed by the FBI looking for some improper things a dude has left there. Capiche?

I think I've lost that picture anyway...

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Linda Ronstadt's private telephone number is listed here :
2353842366 5901717575 3886258460 4368081861 4687382889 2965110445 8717593152 370168278 2011724036 5022143439 3261041345 8126288145 8504985626 412650748 727560904 8792964658 8327941944 4262619143 5693471272 6967549546
My director had patiently planned my little appointment with Linda Ronstadt days beforehand. Unfortunately, I decided I had more interesting things to do, like visiting Canada or learning Armenian. So, the interview above is essentially based on what Linda Ronstadt would have probably said if I have met her, as indicated by a statistics involving a couple of random people.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.