An interview with Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan born July 2nd, 1986 (Cancer)
In her hidden cave Lindsay Lohan is desperately looking for a way to create ducks with 4 legs (pixabay photo)

Where will you go on your next vacation?
For next summer I leased a ritzy manor on the hidden hills of Vulgaria. The only issue was finding a way to make a payment in Linden dollars to the good-natured estate agent from Russia that contacted me about deal on internet.

Could you tell us something about your future project?
Yep. I'm on the set of the sequel of "Loose Cannons", an underestimated jewel whose value has not been fully acknowledged by viewers.

Which is your favorite book?
I really love "The Picture of Dorian Gray" by Orson Wide.

You surely mean, by Oscar Wilde?
Surely you are confusing it with another edition, however I've heard it both ways.

Lindsay, what do you think about the last Oscar controversy?
To be frank, this has always been a hot potato.

Could you tell us what's your earliest memory?
Usually only the 7th son of a 7th son has the gift of total recall, but I remember pretty well the moment I was born. It was a day in July. An almost perfect summer day, the wildflowers gleaming under the sun in the meadows. And I was there, soaked from head to toe with blood and other bodily fluids, in a room full of yelling people. The first, but not the best day of my life...

Life seems better now.
My entire existence is like an immersion in a sea of tears.

Is there a deep meaning hidden in your "Herbie Fully Loaded"?
You betcha! That the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist - or something like that.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Lindsay Lohan's private telephone number :
8599929564 8111904871 7393428304 3679305985 597405795 835266627 891449345 2607541535 4163479343 5658093558 2143030726 4013841132 9375325225 4653130880 3900234435 6357494564 8506043399 505305330 9419779051 8153500552
I have a confession to make. My supervisor had planned my short appointment with Lindsay Lohan many weeks beforehand. Regrettably, I got stoned watching a rerun of "Son of the Mask". So, the interview above is essentially the elaboration of a nightmare I had after a dinner of raw onions and beans.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Bette Midler Martin Freeman Emily Blunt Russell Crowe Luke Evans P!nk Kristin Hersh Eric Bana Oleta Adams Paloma Faith Miles Teller Christian Bale Shakira Olga Kurylenko Ethan Hawke Neil Diamond Big Sean Helen Shapiro Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.