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An interview with Liza Minnelli
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Liza Minnelli
Liza Minnelli born March 12th, 1946 (Pisces)
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In a state of confusion, Liza Minnelli has signed a petition against whales, thereby referred to as "those jelly-belly pitiful imitation of a fish" (pixabay photo)

What's your vice?
I do too much for people that don't merit any of it. I’m possibly going to be condemned for that. Luckily another vice of mine is I couldn't care less.

Don't you think it is time you write a book on your life?
Yes! It is unfortunate that I have little time to put down the words, as we authors like to say. Last week I've read the inside flap of "The Little Prince", and I found it quite passable. On that account, I've asked my agent to call the author - a certain Antoine de Saint-Exupéry - because I truly need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not heard any news.

Where do you go when you die?
Inside a pine box, usually, but if you are incinerated then your remains can rest in some dull place.

Liza, do you like armadillos?
Nein!

For which reason you do not like armadillos, if I may ask?
Actually, they reek! And one armadillo bite my cousin in his private bits. This is one of the reasons I become a singer, so I may probably rethink my relation with armadillos.

Liza, are you superstitious?
Will do! I need to avoid any food whose name contains the letter "T" before a critical occasion. Obviously not today.

Do you ever Google yourself?
Not so often. Say every four hours. But lately Google asks "Did you mean Liza Mynnelli", who happens to be a vascular surgeon from San Francisco. That's quite distressing, but not as much heartbreaking as learning that according to Yahoo my name sounds like a revolting insult in Japanese.

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Okey-doke! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away your passion,
you took the emotions away from me.
A comb, a book forgotten in a drawer
my only memories of you.
You took your love away from me,
everything I care you took away,
so how come your uncle is here to stay?

Liza Minnelli refused to share her home telephone number, but here is a list of random numbers you can dream about :
7453548315 979241160 3905498171 3014943537 9634881919 329952762 3448781499 3955000518 975068987 6208568051 4187402948 7964135140 7553524598 9111736571 4595382063 9194265711 9678451768 222861506 3795897407 9950966105
To be sincere, my director had scheduled my exchange with Liza Minnelli many months beforehand. Regrettably, I realized I had more interesting things to do, like feeding my pet jackal or breeding earthworms. So, the interview above is essentially based on what Liza Minnelli would have probably said if I have met her, as suggested by a statistics involving a couple of random people.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Michael Fassbender Damon Wayans Jr. Charlize Theron Aretha Franklin Nicki Minaj Ki Hong Lee Blake Lively Janel Parrish Kit Harington Alexis Bledel Mark Ruffalo Joseph Morgan Julio Iglesias Colin Hanks Brittany Snow Sean Pertwee James Franco Richard Armitage Nick Jonas
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.