We are here tonight with a special guest, Lou Reed, who just made his way through his last album. Hi, Lou, and welcome to Celebrity Hammocks.
Good evening to you, and thank you for inviting me.
Lou, what's your favorite vice?
Laziness. I have troubles dragging myself out of bed in the morning I solved the problem by setting my clocks to San Sombrèro's time zone. I’m surely going to be blamed for that, but another vice of mine is not giving a shit.
Could you suggest a remedy for hangovers?
Yes, here it is my guaranteed remedy. In case of drunkness mix two parts of scotch, three parts of tea and some pickles. Drink the resulting concoction every 25 minutes for at least 2 hours.
Do people scream your name and follow you everywhere you go?
Ohmigosh! I dig people's mind. I make no distinction as to race, sex, or religion: I'm known to move outstanding Harward professors and ordinary bookkeepers to the same extent. You know? There are at least 15 streets with my name in three different countries, not counting Luxembourg and Cardassia, which I'm not sure are actually countries.
When you were a little boy, did you see singing as a possible career?
Yes, even though it actually was my second choice. First one was pope. Or maybe mechanic, it was a hard choice.
Can you tell me the square root of 418899297?
Even a confounded hamster can answer that, provided it has gained a thumb and a pocket calculator.
Can you rebut the buzz about the lost Bigfoot pictures?
Thou, wayward guts-griping skainsmate! How do you dare?
Do you have any new tattoos?
Actually I do! I have a black hedgehog on my shoulder. It contains a GPS, so I can be salvaged if I get lost in Denver suburbia, but unluckily it works better if I'm a little undressed.
• e-mail: yutmeyut -at- gmail.com • Disclaimer & Privacy •